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Band 5.5

Some people think that employers should give staff at least four weeks of holiday per year to improve their job performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #employers #staff #four #weeks #holiday #year #job #performance
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Some people believe that the working performance will be improved if
employees
 are given 4 weeks of holidays. I personally entirely agree with
this
 idea for several following reasons First of all, companies,
besides
 maintaining the current client and market share, always look forward to upscaling their business from severe competition from others in the market, they need to endeavour their quality non-stop.
As a result
,
employees
 put their effort at the highest level correspondingly. Working under pressure and high intensity during a long period may badly affect the mental health of staff that lead to a declined productivity of
employees
thus
 taking enough time off 4 weeks per year is seen as the best way to refresh and recharge the energy.
Moreover
, I suppose that family is the important bringing up that nurtures both the mental and physical health of everyone.
Besides
 work, every employee needs a place to come back and be soothed. That taking-off time enough makes
employees
 have a better work-life balance. If
employees
 have long holidays, they can spend more time with their families through outdoor activities or long-distance trips so that they can boost their family ties better. Well-boosted family bonding
besides
 a good job can create a sense of fulfilment.
Hence
employees
 will be more eager to be back at work,
eventually
Add a comma
,eventually
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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job performance could be apparently improved
Furthermore
, regarding the individual aspects,
employees
 feel to be fully respected when companies arrange long holidays over the period of being overwhelmed with deadlines. Being respected may bring
employees
 pride in themselves that may lead the unexpected outcomes In conclusion, for those aforementioned benefits, I highly recommend companies give staff 4 weeks of holiday per year to give them more motivation and
hence
 create higher productivity at work
Submitted by myngoc3003 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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