The map shows how coastal land develops into a coastal park.

The two maps describe the improvement of coastal land change to coastal

park

Fix the agreement mistake

parks

show examples

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

the development includes more trees, green space and facilities for residents. ‏

To begin

Linking Words

with, what once were

animal's

Change noun form

animal

show examples

area ‏and unused land converted

to take

Verb problem

into

show examples

a circular lake with a lot of trees taking a place ‏ around the lake.

Moreover

Linking Words

, The agricultural area

alter to

Verb problem

has

show examples

woods with

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

trees ‏ twice the lake size e.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, ‏They linked the previous two areas with the footpath ‏and car park in the centre,

regard to replace

Wrong verb form

regarding replacing

show examples

the old fam building

Change preposition

with

show examples

new

Correct article usage

a new

show examples

car

Park

Fix capitalization

park

show examples

. ‏

Secondly

Linking Words

, new

cafe

Fix the agreement mistake

cafes

show examples

were built

southern

Change preposition

on southern

show examples

the road,

the

Correct word choice

and the

show examples

‏main road and cliffs remained untouched. ‏

thirdly

Linking Words

, many facilities after evolution are there , they add ‏steps at the side of the cliff to the

resident

Replace the word

residence

show examples

Finally

Linking Words

, after the

improvement

Add a comma

improvement,

show examples

a lot of people visit the ‏beach. ‏

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

▼

Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "improvement" was used 2 times.

▼

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

148 words

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The map shows how coastal land develops into a coastal park.

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society.To what extent do you agree with this view?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, whilw others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.