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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph below shows the average number of UK commuters travelling each day by car, bus or rain between 1970 and 2030. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below shows the average number of UK commuters travelling each day by car, bus or rain between 1970 and 2030. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
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The provided chart gives information about the average
number
Use synonyms
 of
commuters
Use synonyms
 who use three particular types of transportation namely car,
bus
Use synonyms
, and
train
Use synonyms
 on a daily basis. It can be clearly seen that the most preferable means of transportation is private
cars
Use synonyms
.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who choose the
bus
Use synonyms
 is decreasing gradually. Starting at more than 5
million
Use synonyms
 daily travellers in 1970, private
cars
Use synonyms
 became the most common option for
people
Use synonyms
. The second most popular choice was by
bus
Use synonyms
, which began with about 4
million
Use synonyms
commuters
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, travelling by
train
Use synonyms
 was the least preferable option, the figure for
this
Linking Words
 choice started at nearly 2.1
million
Use synonyms
. The
number
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 who used private
cars
Use synonyms
 was increasing gradually to about 7.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2020.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
bus
Use synonyms
commuters
Use synonyms
 decreased slightly to nearly 3
million
Use synonyms
 in the same year. There was a slight rise in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
train
Use synonyms
 travellers to about 3.3
million
Use synonyms
. From 2020 to 2030, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who choose
cars
Use synonyms
 is predicted to increase dramatically to 9
million
Use synonyms
 in 2030.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
train
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commuters
Use synonyms
 is projected to share the same pattern with car
commuters
Use synonyms
, it will be increased to nearly 5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2030.
Finally
Linking Words
, buses will experience a downward trend, the figure will decrease gradually to under 3
million
Use synonyms
 in 2030.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, commuters, bus, train, cars, people, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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