IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

As housing is a basic need for people, the government should provide free housing for everyone who can’t afford it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #can’t
Nowadays, the cost of homes is increasing at an alarming rate. The apartments are a basic necessity for individuals, the governments should give free accommodation for each and everyone who can not bear it. Personally, I completely agree with
this
 standpoint because it benefits both individuals and society as a whole.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
 if everyone owns a house, people have more money to spend on other things.
Thus
, they will buy new clothes, increase disposable income and they will spend on luxurious items but in fact, the population will change the product more often than in their life. The result of higher spending would lead to inflation in the economy. But we must observe realistically that the government collects taxes from the citizens of the country. So the responsibility lies in officials to take care of the individuals who have been living and working in these countries and make sure nobody is left homeless. They should build new buildings to accommodate people who cannot afford
such
 expensive properties. When they do that, there will be a lot of benefits.
For example
,
this
 will help to reduce poverty in the country because
instead
 of spending an enormous amount of money to buy a house , they can use
this
 money for their life to get food.
Furthermore
,
decreasing
Wrong verb form
it decreases
show examples
 the crime rate since the poor will do anything to steal valuable things that they are not able to afford. In conclusion, with the aforementioned, I totally agree with the idea
to build
Change preposition
of building
show examples
 a free house for people who can not afford it is applicable because of the benefits it brings.
Submitted by jakedth162 on

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coherence cohesion
Inadequate examples and arguments to support the viewpoint. More cohesive devices needed for improved coherence.
task response
The response is not fully developed. More relevant examples and a deeper analysis are needed to address the task completely.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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