Some people go shopping as a form of recreation. It has replaced the other activities that people used to do as hobbies. Is this a positive or negative development? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #form #recreation #activities #hobbies #development #support

Shopping

is become

Change to the active voice

becomes

has become

show examples

increasingly popular nowadays. Especially young girls and

also

women prefer shopping daily. They believe it is a form of recreation and enjoy it as a

hobby

. In

this

,essay I will discuss the causes and provide my opinion down here. A few decades later people used to shopping once

Change preposition

in a

show examples

while

. Now it has become a trend among ladies

especially

Add the comma(s)

,especially

show examples

girls. I believe social media is the main reason for

this

trend. Because some famous person show their fashions through social media and they promote

latest

Correct article usage

the latest

show examples

fashions to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. There are some individuals, who are waiting for new releases. And

also

some people shop as a

hobby

. They just go to shopping malls

for

Change preposition

show examples

time passes.

Secondly

, I think younger girls are pointless. They do not have any idea about do's and do

nots

Correct your spelling

not

. But following a

hobby

is completely different. There are only a few teenagers who have their own habits and others are all doing useless activities.

This

will be a tragedy one day. Because the new generation has no responsibilities and they do what they like and have no idea about a better future. If we do any

hobby

, it helps us to heal our body and relax our mind. That's why teachers advise us on these good habits.

To conclude

, anyone can go shopping and it is not harmful to anyone. But addicting is terrible and it causes for wasting money.

Submitted by pmmadushani123 on Fri Jun 02 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

239 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people go shopping as a form of recreation. It has replaced the other activities that people used to do as hobbies. Is this a positive or negative development? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Education should be accessible to people of all economic backgrounds. All leveld of education, from primary school to tertiary education, should be free. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

In many countries, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fast food advertisements can be found on TV and throughout social media, which tempts people to eat unhealthy food. Should fast food be banned

Some people think that instead of preventint climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

More and more people in their free time are doing dangerous activities such as mounting climbing. Is this a positive or negative development?