IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today family members eat fewer meals together. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend?

#members #meals #trend
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It said that ,nowadays, family
members
Use synonyms
spare
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 less
time
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 together
while
Linking Words
 having
meals
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. The reasons why
this
Linking Words
 happens is that they cannot manage
time
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 physically to have lunch or dinner together or there could be some issues between family
members
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. The following essay points out the negative sides of not having food together and elaborates its reasons. To start with, regarding the reasons, family
members
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 do not choose to eat separately ,especially most of the
time
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in contrast
Linking Words
 to the common belief.
Parents
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' persistent and irregular work hours lead to eating
meals
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 individually as family
members
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. Because, when a parent works the night shift, it becomes impossible to be present at meal hours.
For instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the statistics, 60% of Turkish
families
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 could not meet at the dinner table as the
parents
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 had to work. At the same
time
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, youngsters tend to have
meals
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 with peers, since to share common interests and have deep talks
while
Linking Words
 having a meal.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, since
meals
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 are the most common
time
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 that
families
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 spend together,
parents
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 should spend more effort meeting around tables to know their children better.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
families
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 put up their barriers to stop communication when one of the
families
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 demands to spend
time
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 together.
For overcoming
Change preposition
To overcome
show examples
 these issues,
families
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 must devise fresh strategies to get them to spend
time
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 at the table with them in order to solve these issues. In conclusion,
families
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 should use every opportunity to have strong family knits. The uniting effect of the dinner table should not be underestimated. To end
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
, the governments can
also
Linking Words
 force employees to arrange working hours for
parents
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 to create
families
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 with solid relations.
Submitted by shams.aliyeva on

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task response
The essay sufficiently responds to the task, but the arguments lack depth and development. More specific examples and elaboration are needed to fully address the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they are not well-developed. The essay lacks a clear logical structure and the organization of ideas is unclear. The progression of arguments is not well-managed, and there is a need for stronger coherence between paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • communication
  • bonding
  • interaction
  • quality time
  • technology-free
  • busy schedules
  • work commitments
  • nurturing relationships
  • sharing experiences
  • community spirit
What to do next:
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