The line graph illustrates the operation of the stolen cars for every 1000 in Canada, Great Britian, France and Sweden in nine years between 1990 to 1999.

The line graph provides information on the number of car thieves per 1000 in four different countries

from

Change preposition

between

show examples

1990 and 1999.

Overall

Linking Words

, the number of cases in England was the most serious as it remained at the top within nine years.

While

Linking Words

the number of car thieves in Sweden rose gradually from the lowest point, that in France and Canada did not undergo a big change and remained low. Focusing on the first four years, Great Britain had approximately 18 cases of car crime in 1990, which created a great disparity with other countries.

Although

Linking Words

Sweden had the lowest cases at 6, the trend

then

Linking Words

overtook that of France and Canada at around 8 after a year.

Subsequently

Linking Words

, the latter had a similar starting point at 7 to 8 which gradually decreased during the first period. Moving on to the remaining years, stealing vehicles was still prevalent in Great Britain which resulted in a slight drop of 2 thieves per

Correct article usage

apply

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thousand cars.

While

Linking Words

the situation in Sweden

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

worsened and continued to increase sharply to 13, the other two slightly fluctuated and reached the same point at 5 in 1999.

ariel03leeSat Jun 03 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

191 words

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The line graph illustrates the operation of the stolen cars for every 1000 in Canada, Great Britian, France and Sweden in nine years between 1990 to 1999.

The best way that a government can reduce the traffic congestion in cities is to provide public transport free of cost to people 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree

We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Other believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather that compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

School should not force children to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree or disagree?