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Band 5.5

According to a survey, people involved in certain occupations and professions are seen to be honest. What is the situation in your country? Why?

#survey #people #occupations #professions #situation #country
It is undeniable that people are required to be more honest in some professions as compared to others. The scenario is the same globally including my country. In the following paragraphs,
light
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the light
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 will be
casted
Correct your spelling
cast
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 on the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
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this
 phenomenon.
To build
Change the verb form
Building
show examples
reputation
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a reputation
show examples
 and
maximize
Wrong verb form
maximising
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 profit
in the long run
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, in the long run,
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 are the prominent reasons why honesty is crucial in businesses.
For instance
,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
businessmen require a high standard of ethics to be successful and profitable in the long term. A business not only will flourish if it ensures its policy of being fair and trustworthy but
also
 wins over
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 customers.
Moreover
, being honest in certain professions is obligatory.
For example
, in the medical profession, doctors must provide their patients with correct details regarding their situation, treatment and expenses which they are going to bear.
Similarly
, journalists are supposed to be more honest and transparent
while
 presenting facts to the general public. They cannot hide any facts from the public.
Therefore
, it is plausible to say
profession
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professionals
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 like
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
, judges, lawyers etc are expected to be more honest than others. Folks are becoming materialistic day by day. Everyone is running a rat race and wants to earn more and more. Professionals like sales executive, insurance brokers or real estate agents
does
Change the verb form
do
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 not have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
room for honesty in their business. In order to promote their business, they try to manipulate their customers. Some do so with their choices,
whereas
 others are being pressurized by their
componaies
Correct your spelling
companies
 to meet the targets, which they cannot achieve without doing any unethical
practice
Fix the agreement mistake
practices
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. For
examples
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example
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, milkman adultering their products with water and many brands distribute their poor products in the marketplace
while
 labelling them as “100% quality” and
charge
Wrong verb form
charging
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 skyrocketing costs.
To conclude
, some occupations seem to be
honest
Correct quantifier usage
more honest
show examples
 than
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 because they cannot afford to hide the facts.
Submitted by jaspreetkhaira00 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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