In some places, teenagers are encouraged to get part-time job while they are still in school. Do the advantages of teenagers working outweigh the disadvantages?

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Teenager working has become a trend nowadays.

Therefore

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, teenagers are persuaded in a few locations, to secure part-time jobs, even if they did not complete their schooling yet.

This

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essay will discuss both, the merits and the demerits of

this

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trend.

However

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, its advantages are more as compared to its disadvantages. There are many benefits of doing part-time work for teens.

Firstly

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, they can earn extra money, which will be really helpful for them to manage their tuition fees.

Secondly

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, doing a job alongside studying will help them to build many innovative skills

such

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as cooperation, teamwork, budgeting and many more.

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,but not least, they will not have spare time to indulge in criminal activities like drugs or robbery.

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this

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, they can build a large friend circle which will be helpful in future goals . They will learn the value of money and will utilise it perfectly because it is their hard-earned money.

On the contrary

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, teenagers might have to face failure in their study achievements because they

could

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not have enough time to complete their education requirements.

For example

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, assignments.

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, there will be no free time left for their extracurricular activities, which are compulsory

as well as

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lifestyle.

Furthermore

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, they can lead astray when their teammates

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are

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older or addicted to some bad things. In conclusion, I would like to say there should be a limitation on part-time hours, approximately 10 to 15 and with the help of

this

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we can say that the pros outweigh its cons.

jaspreetkaur45047Sat Jun 03 2023

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task response

Task Response: The essay addresses the advantages and disadvantages of teenagers working part-time, but the response could be more balanced by providing equal attention to both sides.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The overall structure of the essay is clear with an introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas and examples could be more connected, leading to a more coherent discussion.

13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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