IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
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Since the industrial revolution happened, the cultivation industry faced many progresses both in
quality
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the quality
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 and quantity of its
products
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. Despite these improvements,
still
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,still
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 many countries all around the globe are suffering from starvation. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss some of the reasons behind
this
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 issue and
also
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 suggest possible solutions to encounter it.
To begin
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 with, there are countless
of
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apply
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yields all around the world. Most of them
utilizing
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utilise
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 new methods and technologies in order to mass produce their
products
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.
However
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, for some
reasons
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reason
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, there is a shortage of
food
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 supply globally.
Firstly
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, the accessibility to modern technologies is not disputed equally.
In other words
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, many farmers, especially
working
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those working
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 in underdeveloped and poor countries, still rely on
old
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the old
an old
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 traditional way of cultivation which makes their crops highly vulnerable to any problem.
Secondly
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,
due to
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keep
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keeping
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 the prices of
the
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apply
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agriculture
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agricultural
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products
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 stable, many of the mass producers destroy a large
quantity
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number
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 of their crops annually.
For example
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, the United States is the
man
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main
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 producer of corn in the world.
However
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, in order to keep the
demands
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demand
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 for its crops high globally, they throw tons of
their
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its
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products
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 into the sea.
Consequently
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, there will always be some sort of
shortages
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shortage
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, especially, in
the
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apply
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poor African countries.
Nevertheless
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, despite all deficiencies, there is still hope to find solutions to help hungry
peoples
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people
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. First and foremost,
in
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on
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 a global scale, there should be a well-organized
food
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 supply plan to support all poor societies.
This
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 approach could start first in the United
Nation’s
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Nations
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Food
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organization
Correct your spelling
Organization
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, and
then
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being
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be
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 approved as a regulation for all governments to follow the instruction.
In addition
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, governments have to increase their supervision
on
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of
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food
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 prices combined with
allocation
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the allocation
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 of
food
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subsidy
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subsidies
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 in poor areas to make sure everyone could afford enough
meal
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meals
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. In conclusion,
although
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 there are many improvements in agriculture technologies, still many peoples
due to
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an
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apply
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inequality in
distribution
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the distribution
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 of resources suffer from starvation. To encounter
this
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 problem, national organizations with the help of the governments could play a crucial role to solve the obstacle.
Submitted by m.lotfipour92 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
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