In many countries, there is a push to get as many young people going to university as possible. To what extent do you think this effort is a worthwhile one? Do you think some people can benefit from not going to university? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In many countries, there is a push to get as many young people going to university as possible.

To what extent do you think this effort is a worthwhile one? Do you think some people can benefit from not going to university?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays the tendency to get
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
degree
is saw everywhere. It is true, that young
people
are punished to get higher education. I tend to the statement
regarding
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that young persons have to get
this
degree
, but there are exceptions and I will discuss it below. On the one hand, I believe that
this
degree
give more opportunities for
people
in the future. Of course, the employees will choose employers with the
degree
whereas
without
Correct pronoun usage
those without
show examples
it. If a person chose a good university and gets a serious
degree
, he will get a better salary in the future. The government help young
people
to get a
degree
,
for instance
, young programmers and engineers in my country have several benefits, like good conditions for credits and postponement from the army. I think they have these benefits because talented
people
are needed for the country.
On the other hand
, a lot of young
people
can develop in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media or just online, and they don't need any education for it. Popular bloggers are good examples of
this
point, they have many subscribers and have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good money from their's videos, but many of them don't have any
degree
.
In addition
to
this
, talented
people
who haven't a
degree
can
also
earn online,
for example
, designers, creators, writers and so on.
Overall
, every person has to decide their own future. It is very good, that governments support young
people
in their choices, and parents give good recommendations about their careers, but
people
have to choose what they want. Success is measured not only by the salary
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
by the joy of life.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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