People today are spending more and more time outside of the home. What are the reasons for this trend? What effects is it having on individuals and society?

In
these comtemporary era
Change the determiner
this comtemporary era
these comtemporary eras
show examples
, no one hardly
like
Change the verb form
likes
show examples
to
utlize
Correct your spelling
utilise
time
with family. It is believed that spending
myraid
Correct your spelling
myriad
hours outside the
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
is mostly preferred by
group
Add an article
a group
show examples
of individuals.
Although
, several causes of
this
phenomenon are hectic
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
show examples
and
influence
Correct article usage
the influence
show examples
of peer
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
which largely disturbs the family relations of
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
and
disattracts
Correct your spelling
distracts
the younger generation in
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
To begin
with, the major point of
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
busy
Correct article usage
the busy
show examples
working life of human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
.
This
is because the person who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
pursuing
Add an article
a full
show examples
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
job
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
to
spent
Change the verb
spend
show examples
their valuable hours
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
offering service as they cannot able to enjoy,
hanging
Wrong verb form
hang
show examples
out and
talk
Wrong verb form
talking
show examples
to their family which
compel
Correct subject-verb agreement
compels
show examples
them to utilize
accquianted
Correct your spelling
acquainted
time
outside for making
bright
Correct article usage
a bright
show examples
future.
Moreover
, the other factor is discouragement from peer group as
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days masses believe in
flaunt
Wrong verb form
flaunting
show examples
and are admired to visit places which shows their high status rather than their own home in order to maintain
image
Add an article
an image
the image
show examples
in front of their fellow beings.
For instance
, the U.S. revealed that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more than 60% of locals are found in bars and restaurants with friends
instead
of their houses.
Therefore
, some individual has
compulsion
Change the article
the compulsion
show examples
to stay out of their
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
but various people find
discomforts
Fix the agreement mistake
discomfort
show examples
in their houses which
as
Correct your spelling
has
show examples
various effects which cannot be ignored.
Furthermore
,
this
trend put a deleterious effect on human
bondings
Fix the agreement mistake
bonding
show examples
.
This
is because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans
are hardly share
Change the verb form
hardly share
show examples
their worries, sufferings and not even happy moments with their family which leads them away from each other and makes their relationships worst.
Moreover
, it badly
effects
Replace the word
affects
show examples
the teenagers who do not have knowledge about
such
things can learn to live alone and will become
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
due to
lack of parents attention
as a result
,
this
not only maintains a deteriorating effect on
person
Correct article usage
the person
show examples
but on society
also
.
For example
, as per the news headlines in Austria,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
millions of couples were taken
divorce
Wrong verb form
divorced
show examples
from their partner
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of mutual understanding.
Thus
,
it is clear that
if valuable
time
is not spent by folks with their co-partners, no
realtionship
Correct your spelling
relationship
will survive.
To conclude
,
it is clear that
giving significant hours to
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
is much sufficient in order to enjoy cheerful life
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if adjustable
time
is not provided by
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
to
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
then
it will definitely
effected
Change the verb form
effect
be effected
show examples
terribly.
Submitted by anureet370 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: