The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010. ​Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010. ​Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
This
bar chart illustrates the proportion of teachers of both genders broken down ‏into Six
domain
Fix the agreement mistake
domains
show examples
regard to
Replace the word
regarding
show examples
educational purposes in the UK before 13 years. ‏
Overall
, what stands out from The graph is that the number of women shows an opposite pattern of the
man
Correct your spelling
male
show examples
sector. ‏
According to
the graph, the highest percentage of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
‏observed in a nursery school with almost ‏90%, followed by a slight decrease in primary schools.
while
‏the ‏
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
fewest proportion was males with only 5% . ‏
Moreover
, in primary school , the number grew by merely 5% .Female ,which is 55% in secondary school was considerably more than men which makes up 45% .
Secondly
, in college
Add a comma
,
show examples
both
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
were identical at half.
Furthermore
,unexpected figures seen in private training institutions
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
exceeded
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
‏by almost 10% .
Finally
, at the
university
Add a comma
university,
show examples
‏the number of men teachers increased gradually to 70%,
whereas
the women faculty experienced a plunge to 30%.
Submitted by demo_sq on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Comparative analysis
  • Distribution
  • Gender disparities
  • Educational settings
  • Predominance
  • Representation
  • Societal biases
  • Systemic biases
  • Recruitment
  • Accessibility
  • Work-life balance
  • Societal expectations
  • Perceived suitability
  • Efforts to balance
  • Gender equality
  • Policymakers
  • Educational leaders
What to do next:
Look at other essays: