IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Employees should not work in jobs they don’t enjoy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#employees #work #jobs #don’t
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The performance of
workers
Use synonyms
 in completing certain tasks is considered necessary.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is of concern
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 many institutions to diminish other factors causing adverse effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the reputation of the employees including
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internal ones
such
Linking Words
 as enthusiasm to complete a
job
Use synonyms
 punctually. In
this
Linking Words
 sense, it is strongly advised to consider their enthusiasm before recruiting them to do a particular
job
Use synonyms
. To have high-quality products from a
job
Use synonyms
 completed, some experts in human resources have recommended hiring those with high motivation
while
Linking Words
 others still maintain conservative ways of thinking to recruit any
worker
Use synonyms
 without considering personal matters. Newly recruited member,
therefore
Linking Words
, deserves an enabling environment so that a
worker
Use synonyms
 can keep pace with the requirements of a vacant position. Toward both sides of arguments, in my personal point of view, I agree that one should work only for jobs that they like most because of some reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, having joy in the hearts of
workers
Use synonyms
 generates
such
Linking Words
amount
Correct article usage
an amount
show examples
 of energy to do beyond
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
just getting paid
at the end
Linking Words
 of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 completion.
Such
Linking Words
workers
Use synonyms
 can put on more efforts to come up with innovative solutions so that results can be made even more attractive and beyond
target
Add an article
the target
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 sense, not only is the
worker
Use synonyms
's desire being fulfilled, but
also
Linking Words
 an employer is benefitted by having
such
Linking Words
 a quality product. To exemplify, when leading a pneumonia intervention, I was able to save 523 children in Central Lombok over 400 children targeted by the
project
Use synonyms
. The achievement came in
such
Linking Words
 a greater number because I enjoyed the complexity applied to solve
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the mortality rate there.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the happiness derived
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 executing a
job
Use synonyms
 can create a more motivating environment of work so that many
workers
Use synonyms
 and other stakeholders can work in much more synchronized ways to reach a single goal. In that stage,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
collaboration can be much easier, and
operation
Correct article usage
the operation
show examples
 of an intervention can be even much cheaper.
This
Linking Words
 situation can be coined by having only one energetic
worker
Use synonyms
 who is able to inspire others with his/her charisma powered by an illumination of a cheerful conation. To illustrate, when leading each
project
Use synonyms
, I always comprehend a
project
Use synonyms
 intervention to internalize the energetic excitement
brought-about
Correct your spelling
brought about
show examples
 by the
project
Use synonyms
 before sharing it
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 my co-
workers
Use synonyms
 when building a common understanding among us.
This
Linking Words
 strategy has given me more advantage to influence my
sub-ordinates
Correct your spelling
subordinates
show examples
 with positive energy and
therefore
Linking Words
, we were all happy
at the end
Linking Words
 because of excellently
demonstrating
Wrong verb form
demonstrated
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extraordinary performance in our
job
Use synonyms
 completion. All in all, jobs can be an opportunity to be prosperous and
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 internal satisfaction at the same time. One could not be much happier than having a single
job
Use synonyms
 in which wealth and happiness are mounted together.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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