Some people believe that Art gives our lives meaning and purpose. Others believe that it is merely a distraction from real life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays,
art
is a part of our
life
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lives
show examples
,
art
can not be separated from
human
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humans
show examples
because
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
from
human
Add an article
the human
a human
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mind and
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
, it
also
represent
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represents
show examples
the identity of a region. Especially in Bali,
art
in
bali
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Bali
show examples
has a lot of deep meaning
due to
the tradition here.
Therefore
, as
balinese
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Balinese
show examples
, in my
opinion
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opinion,
show examples
art
not only has meaning and purpose,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
also
contains a reflection of its region. The first point of
art
is how human
being
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beings
show examples
make a clear difference between
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
and
animal
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animals
show examples
. Human could spill their mind into
art
, they talk about their
life
thru
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through
show examples
art
,
some
Correct word choice
and some
show examples
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
artist
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artists
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speak up
by
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about
show examples
their masterpiece. Sometimes,
art
has a hidden meaning in it and
that is
the curious things of
art
.
Therefore
, the meaning of
an
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apply
show examples
art
has a purpose to help to face or avoid their problems
by
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in
show examples
an aesthetic way Some
of
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apply
show examples
people believe that
art
is a distraction
of
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from
show examples
normality.
However
, the major use of
art
is for lifting
Correct article usage
the human’s
show examples
human’s
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human
show examples
spirit. For
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example is a
song
, whenever you feel tired, when you hear a
song
thats
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that
that's
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
fun to
you
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your
show examples
mood, it
would help
Wrong verb form
helps
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you to release your
tired
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tiredness
show examples
, commonly the
song
you
loved
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love
show examples
the most.
Similarly
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Similarly,
show examples
when you feel sad or angry,
song
Correct article usage
a song
show examples
magically could lift up your soul and avoid your problems for a
while
.
For
Change preposition
To
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
summarize,
art
is a thing that
have
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has
show examples
been a part of human history and
identically
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is identically
show examples
to the region. It
purposed
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is purposed
show examples
to help
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
speak up and help human to reduce stress and enjoy their
life
.
Thus
, it is my view that the aesthetic and the
uniq
Correct your spelling
unique
of
art
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
than just an entertainment object,
furthermore
it helps human
being
Replace the word
beings
show examples
out of struggling
life
.
Submitted by viewsoysoongnern on

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Development
Develop your main ideas more fully with detailed examples and explanations to further strengthen your argument.
Grammar and Style
Consider varied sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.
Accuracy
Review the use of articles ('a', 'the') and prepositions ('in', 'of') for accuracy.
Structure
Introduce a brief outline of your main points in your introduction to guide the reader through your argument more clearly.
Engagement and Opinion
Your essay engages with the topic thoughtfully and presents a clear personal viewpoint.
Vocabulary Usage
You have a good use of topic-specific vocabulary that enhances the clarity of your argument.
Structure
There is a logical structure to your essay, with an introduction, development of ideas, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • aesthetic
  • cathartic
  • cultural tapestry
  • expressionism
  • fleeting
  • introspection
  • monetary value
  • nostalgia
  • profound impact
  • socioeconomic
  • subjective perspective
  • visceral response
What to do next:
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