In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #enrol #university #situation

These days, rather than going to

university

, young

people

are choosing to do training at work.

This

has benefits for both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society and the young, but some drawbacks

also

exist.

University

gives

people

more opportunities to choose a good career, so they feel more satisfied

Change preposition

with

show examples

their job, have high salaries and

the

Add a missing verb

have the

show examples

possibility

for

Change preposition

show examples

improve their education with

Master’s

Correct article usage

a Master’s

show examples

degree in the future. Hopefully, they will

also

teach other young

people

so that the country remains

success

Add an article

a success

show examples

in the future.

Also

, many workers need to have a degree on their CV when they apply

Change preposition

for

show examples

a job.

However

, several young

people

also

take advantage of opportunities to gain valuable

experience

in the workplace as soon as possible.

This

mean

Change the verb form

means

show examples

they can earn some money and

also

get training for their future career.

For example

, many companies offer

internship

Fix the agreement mistake

internships

show examples

apprenticeship

Fix the agreement mistake

apprenticeships

show examples

such

as engineering companies where young

people

can work to learn,

instead

of study. Sometimes the things we learn from real life are more important than books.

Furthermore

experience

from work is very useful. You can have a more fun life in the office, meeting and going out with colleagues is a good way to improve your sociality. Many

people

meet their friends from their job

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but only have a few friends from the

university

. Often, workplaces have many events, like parties, which may be fun for young

people

. In conclusion, there are many advantages of

university

education, but I believe the benefits of

workplace

Replace the word

work

show examples

experience

are greater, as they are possible for all and allow young

people

to have awareness and

experience

to earn a good salary from their career.

Submitted by muholligan on Mon Jun 05 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-based training
enrol
university
advantages
disadvantages
practical skills
experience
workforce
employment
earnings
opportunities
further education
theoretical knowledge
career options
exploitation
balance

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In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

At the present, the population of some countires includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people think that zoos are crual and should be clouse down. others belive that zoos are useful in different ways.discuss both views and give your opinion?

4.How would you use your degree to make a positive impact? 4.How would you use your degree to make a positive impact?

Some people believe that technology has led to many positive developments in their lives, while others think technology is gradually taking over control of the way people live.