In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, rather than going to
university
, young
people
are choosing to do training at work.
This
has benefits for both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and the young, but some drawbacks
also
exist.
University
gives
people
more opportunities to choose a good career, so they feel more satisfied
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
their job, have high salaries and
the
Add a missing verb
have the
show examples
possibility
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
improve their education with
Master’s
Correct article usage
a Master’s
show examples
degree in the future. Hopefully, they will
also
teach other young
people
so that the country remains
success
Add an article
a success
show examples
in the future.
Also
, many workers need to have a degree on their CV when they apply
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
a job.
However
, several young
people
also
take advantage of opportunities to gain valuable
experience
in the workplace as soon as possible.
This
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
they can earn some money and
also
get training for their future career.
For example
, many companies offer
internship
Fix the agreement mistake
internships
show examples
or
apprenticeship
Fix the agreement mistake
apprenticeships
show examples
,
such
as engineering companies where young
people
can work to learn,
instead
of study. Sometimes the things we learn from real life are more important than books.
Furthermore
,
experience
from work is very useful. You can have a more fun life in the office, meeting and going out with colleagues is a good way to improve your sociality. Many
people
meet their friends from their job
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but only have a few friends from the
university
. Often, workplaces have many events, like parties, which may be fun for young
people
. In conclusion, there are many advantages of
university
education, but I believe the benefits of
workplace
Replace the word
work
show examples
experience
are greater, as they are possible for all and allow young
people
to have awareness and
experience
to earn a good salary from their career.
Submitted by muholligan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: