IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries people rent accommodation while other buy their own houses. Does renting accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages than buying place?

#countries #people #rent #accommodation #houses #place
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In certain nations, individuals opt to lease housing
while
 others opt to
purchasing
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purchase
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 their own residences. I personally find renting a space for living
purpose
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purposes
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 to be more convenient and flexible for
people
 who are busy at work. I am going to provide some of my
opinons
Correct your spelling
opinions
 below. On the one hand, it is indisputable that owning a private house has its advantages
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to at
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at
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a
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 certain extent.
People
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For people
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 who have
a
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apply
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steady employment and
aiming
Wrong verb form
aim
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 for a stable life, choosing to have their own
place
 is a favourable option. To be more specific,
young
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for young
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people
 who want to establish their own nuclear family, it is highly convenient for them to have a living space which is located in the vicinity of their company and schools of their children.
Moreover
, it could be easier to start good
relationshops
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relationships
 and get on with neighbours living nearby.
On the other hand
, I prefer hiring
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 than settling down in a
place
. Especially to university students or young
people
 who have flexible jobs.
Firstly
, after graduation, graduates could begin employment at companies which are located distant from their current
place
.
Therefore
, it is better to move to another accommodation that
more
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is more
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 convenient for their job.
Sencondly
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Secondly
,
people
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for people
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 who need to have business trips frequently
due to
 the nature of their job, it is obviously inconvenient to have their own house.
For example
, their pet might be ravenous and the garden would fully wither.
To
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In
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 conclusion,
while
 making a choice of owning a
place
 has its own benefits, I firmly believe that taking a house on rent does have more advantages for a substantial number of
people
.
Submitted by trangch705 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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