The chart above shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time.

The chart above shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time.
This
bar chart depicts the figure of men and women in higher
education
in Britain in three intervals and whether they were studying
full
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full-time
show examples
time
education
or
part
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part-time
show examples
time
education
. It is clear from the graph that
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
education
always dominated
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
education
.
According to
what is shown,
part
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part-time
show examples
time
education
in men chart started from a Thousand and
then
dipped slightly to around 850 after which
finally
it took place at approximately 900 thousand.
Mans
Correct your spelling
Men
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who committed to a
full
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full-time
show examples
time
education
, their figures had been increased throughout the period.
Female
Fix the agreement mistake
Females
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considering
part
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part-time
show examples
time
education
,
on the other hand
, consistently increase through all intervals .
Moreover
, the same description
applicable
Add a missing verb
is applicable
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
education
which gradually
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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till it
reached
Wrong verb form
reaches
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number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of 200 thousand.
To sum up
, comparing both men and women,
mans
Correct your spelling
men
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consider
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
less than
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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of
womens
Correct your spelling
women
show examples
When we analyze
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
education
while
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
education
can be taken into account as they are the same approximately.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words education, time, part with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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