The chart above shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time.

#men #women #education #britain #three #periods

This

bar chart depicts the figure of men and women in higher

education

in Britain in three intervals and whether they were studying

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

education

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

education

. It is clear from the graph that

part

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part-time

show examples

time

education

always dominated

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

education

According to

what is shown,

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

education

in men chart started from a Thousand and

then

dipped slightly to around 850 after which

finally

it took place at approximately 900 thousand.

Mans

Correct your spelling

Men

show examples

who committed to a

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

education

, their figures had been increased throughout the period.

Female

Fix the agreement mistake

Females

show examples

considering

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

education

on the other hand

, consistently increase through all intervals .

Moreover

, the same description

applicable

Add a missing verb

is applicable

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

education

which gradually

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

till it

reached

Wrong verb form

reaches

show examples

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of 200 thousand.

To sum up

, comparing both men and women,

mans

Correct your spelling

men

show examples

consider

to be

Change the verb form

being

show examples

less than

Correct article usage

the numbers

show examples

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

womens

Correct your spelling

women

show examples

When we analyze

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

education

while

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

education

can be taken into account as they are the same approximately.

Submitted by sultanalya7yawi on Mon Jun 05 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words education, time, part with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

166 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart above shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time.

Some people say that history provides little or nothing to us, while others argue that we must learn history to understand the present. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Competitiveness is considered a good quality in most societies nowadays. How Does it affect individuals? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?