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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

ne technologies have changed the way children spend theri free time. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disdvantage?

#technologies #children #theri #time #outweigh #disdvantage
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A big reason
for
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apply
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city dwellers feel difficult to do enough physical
execise
Correct your spelling
exercise
 is because doing physical
exercise
Use synonyms
 is not their
priorities
Fix the agreement mistake
priority
show examples
.
For some
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Some
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 people,
Correct your spelling
especially
epecially
Correct your spelling
especially
for
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apply
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young adults who are living in big cities they think that making money is the most important thing, they can sacrifice their health to make more money. They always have
resonable
Correct your spelling
reasonable
 reasons to justify
for
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apply
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not getting enough
exercise
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as they are too busy with their work to get
exercies
Correct your spelling
exercise
exercises
 or they have other responsibilities so they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lack
of
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apply
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time to work out. All in all, the biggest reason they do not get enough
exercise
Use synonyms
 is
because
Replace the word
that
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 they do not choose to do it, because if they prioritize their health, everything else is on schedule. There are several actions that could be taken to mitigate the problem mentioned above.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the government should encourage citizens doing
exercise
Use synonyms
 regularly by investing in and maintaining parks and green spaces
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 provide people with safe and accessible places to be active and enjoy nature.
Secondly
Linking Words
, In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 people in big cities could not get enough physical
exercise
Use synonyms
 and measures can be implemented to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue.
Submitted by hugoductam on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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