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Band 5.5

The graph below gives information about the number of Catholics residing in different nations.

The graph below gives information about the number of Catholics residing in different nations.
#information #catholics #nations
The given graph illustrates data about the number of Catholics who dwelled in diverse territories, over a
three - year
Correct your spelling
three-year
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 period from 2010 to 2013.
Overall
, it can be seen that a high majority of Catholics
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 living in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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while
 only a small crowd chose Japan as a living country over the period in question. Looking at the details, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
this
 race's folks who lived in China was 9,000,000 and it increased to 15,000,000 people in 2013 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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similar swarms were witnessed in India. Followingly,
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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 was a popular zone for these expatriates in 2010 with 75,940,000 members which was the highest amount but in 2013,it experienced a decrease and reached 72,000,000
Additionally
, Vietnam and Korea had
the
Correct article usage
apply
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similar numbers in 2010 but in 2013,5,321,168 members settled in Vietnam
while
this
 quantity fell to around 1,000,000 in
korea
Change the capitalization
Korea
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. If we look at Japan, it was
the
Correct article usage
an
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 unpopular area among
this
 race's people because only 400,000 folks lived in it in 2010 and 509,000 members lived in 2013.
Submitted by mehrdad.salahi2003 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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