Advertisements have impacted our modern world. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of advertisements.

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Advertisements
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play a significant role in our lives. In my opinion, the downsides of adverts outweigh the upsides. On the one hand, there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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various benefits of
advertisements
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on the economy of
country
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the country
a country
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. To
beign
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begin
with,
ads
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can contribute to
enhances
Wrong verb form
enhancing
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the economy of
country
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the country
a country
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.
In other words
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,
Advertisements
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incentivize
people
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to buy products.
As a result
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,
Use synonyms
advertisements
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisement
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companies achieve profits , and the government earn funds through taxes from companies.
Moreover
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,
Correct article usage
the adertising
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adertising
Correct your spelling
advertising
industry
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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jobs opportunity and income for local
people
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in marketing or sales.
Thus
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,
ads
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can assist to
reducae
Correct your spelling
reducing
the rate of poverty and crime.
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Although
Change preposition
Despite
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the benefits mentioned above, I believe that
ads
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can have a negative
impacts
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impact
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on
people
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as well as
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environment
Add an article
the environment
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.
Firstly
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, Some
Advertisements
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target children in order to promote unhealthy food.
For example
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, advertisers use successful athletes
such
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as
,
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apply
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Messi and Ronaldo in order
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to econurage
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econurage
Correct your spelling
encourage
children to buy soft drinks ,which
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this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can contribute to
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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disease among
people
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namely, obesity , cancer,
heart
Correct word choice
and heart
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attack.
Furthermore
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,
ads
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motivate individuals to purchase
of
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apply
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unnecessary products , which
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this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can
leads
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lead
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to harmful consequences on the ecosystem.
This
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is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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most products
produce
Wrong verb form
are produced
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by
cut
Change the verb form
cutting
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down
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
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.
Therefore
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, the
animals
Change to a genitive case
animal's
animals'
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loss
Replace the word
lose
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their habitats and extinct
as well as
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increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
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global warming and climate change,
this
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because
Add a missing verb
is because
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trees
a
Correct article usage
apply
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play a key role
to absorb
Change preposition
in absorbing
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CO2 emissions from the atmosphere. In conclusion, In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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the demerits of
advertisements
Use synonyms
including
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
promote
Wrong verb form
including promoting
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unhealthy food,
Correct word choice
and create
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create
Wrong verb form
creating
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environmental issues outweigh the merits
such
Linking Words
as ,
boosts
Wrong verb form
boosting
show examples
the economy of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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task response
The essay presents a clear viewpoint on the advantages and disadvantages of advertisements. However, there is room for improvement in terms of coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat unclear, and the introduction and conclusion could be more effectively presented. Additionally, the main points lack sufficient support and development.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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