Advertisements have impacted our modern world. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of advertisements.

Advertisements
play a significant role in our lives. In my opinion, the downsides of adverts outweigh the upsides. On the one hand, there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
various benefits of
advertisements
on the economy of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
. To
beign
Correct your spelling
begin
with,
ads
can contribute to
enhances
Wrong verb form
enhancing
show examples
the economy of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
.
In other words
,
Advertisements
incentivize
people
to buy products.
As a result
,
advertisements
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisement
show examples
companies achieve profits , and the government earn funds through taxes from companies.
Moreover
,
Correct article usage
the adertising
show examples
adertising
Correct your spelling
advertising
industry
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
jobs opportunity and income for local
people
in marketing or sales.
Thus
,
ads
can assist to
reducae
Correct your spelling
reducing
the rate of poverty and crime.
Although
Change preposition
Despite
show examples
the benefits mentioned above, I believe that
ads
can have a negative
impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
impact
show examples
on
people
as well as
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
Firstly
, Some
Advertisements
target children in order to promote unhealthy food.
For example
, advertisers use successful athletes
such
as
,
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apply
show examples
Messi and Ronaldo in order
Fix the infinitive
to econurage
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econurage
Correct your spelling
encourage
children to buy soft drinks ,which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can contribute to
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
disease among
people
namely, obesity , cancer,
heart
Correct word choice
and heart
show examples
attack.
Furthermore
,
ads
motivate individuals to purchase
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
unnecessary products , which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to harmful consequences on the ecosystem.
This
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most products
produce
Wrong verb form
are produced
show examples
by
cut
Change the verb form
cutting
show examples
down
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
show examples
.
Therefore
, the
animals
Change to a genitive case
animal's
animals'
show examples
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
their habitats and extinct
as well as
increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming and climate change,
this
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
trees
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
play a key role
to absorb
Change preposition
in absorbing
show examples
CO2 emissions from the atmosphere. In conclusion, In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
the demerits of
advertisements
including
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
promote
Wrong verb form
including promoting
show examples
unhealthy food,
Correct word choice
and create
show examples
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
environmental issues outweigh the merits
such
as ,
boosts
Wrong verb form
boosting
show examples
the economy of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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task response
The essay presents a clear viewpoint on the advantages and disadvantages of advertisements. However, there is room for improvement in terms of coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat unclear, and the introduction and conclusion could be more effectively presented. Additionally, the main points lack sufficient support and development.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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