Ensuring that children have regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore schools should not waste valuable school time having sports lessons as part of the curriculum.

It is argued that who
Add a missing verb
is repsonsible
show examples
repsonsible
Correct your spelling
responsible
to make sure
children
get enough regular exercise
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Some believe that parents
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
responsible for
to ensure
Change the verb form
ensuring
show examples
that
children
play
sports
rather than
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
. I totally disagree with the statement, because I think the
school
have
porfessionals
Correct your spelling
professionals
in
sports
and
sports
facilities
.
To begin
with , I think
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents should not
Add a missing verb
be resposnible
show examples
resposnible
Correct your spelling
responsible
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
ensuring that their
children
do regular exercise.
Partents
Correct your spelling
Parents
already have paid fees to
schools
to register their
children
schools
.
Therefore
,
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
should make
sports
lessons obligatory in their curriculum.
Furthermore
, There are
serveral
Correct your spelling
several
reasons why I believe that playing
sports
should become mandatory
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
curriculum
Add an article
the curriculum
show examples
of
schools
in order to make sure students receive adequate exercise .
Firstly
,
schools
have staff who specialist in teach
children
how
do
Add the particle
to do
show examples
exerice
Correct your spelling
exercise
in
correct
Add an article
the correct
a correct
show examples
way and prevent them to get injuries.
Furthermore
, the staff of
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
can provide enough support to encourage students making playing
sports
more
enjoyment
Replace the word
enjoyable
show examples
and beneficial .
For example
, the
school
can launch competitions in football and the team who
winning
Wrong verb form
wins
show examples
receive
prize
Add an article
a prize
the prize
show examples
.
Secondly
, the
school
have appropriate
facilities
such
as
swimming
Correct article usage
a swimming
show examples
pool, playgrounds,
green
Correct word choice
and green
show examples
spaces.
This
Change the determiner
This facility
These facilities
show examples
facilities
can provide
Correct article usage
an attraction
show examples
attraction
Replace the word
attractive
show examples
environment for
children
to
enagaing
Correct your spelling
engaging
in playing
sports
and stay healthy .
Furthermore
,
school
via
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
facilities
can educate
children
valuable
Change preposition
on valuable
show examples
skills, cooperation, teamwork,
competitions
Correct word choice
and competitions
show examples
, which
this
useful skill for
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
pofessional
Correct your spelling
professional
and personal life. In conclusion, I totally agree that the
school
should make playing sport compulsory
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
their curriculum,
this
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
the parents have paid for
school
fees
as well as
school
Add an article
a school
the school
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
porfessional
Correct your spelling
professional
employees and suitable
sports
facilities
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • structured environment
  • inclination
  • teamwork
  • sportsmanship
  • cooperation
  • academic time
  • intellectual development
  • after-school activities
  • relegated
  • family bond
  • supervised
  • well-being
  • equipment
  • expertise
  • professional physical education teachers
  • safe and beneficial
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