Topic: Some people think that the spread of multinational companies and globalization produces positive outcomes for everyone. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Recently, there has been an ongoing debate about working for multinational enterprises in which the workplace environment is

globalized

Use the right word

globalised

show examples

Although

Linking Words

contested by many people,

this

Linking Words

issue is still regarded as constructive and positive by a substantial number of individuals. As

such

Linking Words

, there are merits and demerits of the subject, but I am of the opinion that the benefits of the expansion of multinational firms outweigh

its

Fix the agreement mistake

their

show examples

drawbacks.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the most conspicuous merit of

this

Linking Words

matter is climbing the career ladder higher. Despite the fact that workers have to drastically compete with each other and make great efforts, it is still worth

Correct pronoun usage

it immense

show examples

immense

Replace the word

immensely

show examples

since they can receive high-paying salaries.

Also

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is a chance for these employees to prove their working capacity

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

potentially reflects and shapes their career path in a company. A typical point in the case is Google

Fix the agreement mistake

Groups

show examples

Group

Punctuation problem

Group,

show examples

where employees are obliged to constantly come up with creative ideas in order to generate novel

appliances

Check wording

applications

show examples

However

Linking Words

, they are

instead

Linking Words

subsidized

Use the right word

subsidised

show examples

with plenty of welfare and aid. Another advantageous factor of the matter is interaction with diverse cultures.

This

Linking Words

means that each employee has an opportunity to make friends with international colleagues who come from different areas of the world. In light of multinational enterprises, geographical distance is no longer a barrier to connecting people from various nations. Vietnamese youngsters,

for example

Linking Words

, are likely to build friendships with foreign students without much restraint.

This

Linking Words

is because the government has encouraged universities to welcome Korean, Japanese or Russian students studying in their country.

Hence

Linking Words

, they are able to learn about multicultural lifestyles. In conclusion, multicultural companies and

globalization

Use the right word

globalisation

show examples

do not cause harm to local residents but have positive

impacts

Check wording

apply

show examples

effects,

such

Linking Words

as reasonable payment and enlarging international networks.

doanminhkhoi93

Jun 7, 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and relates clearly to your overall argument.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points, as this can strengthen your argument

Task Achievement

Rephrase your conclusion to summarize your main points better and reinforce your opinion more clearly.

Task Achievement

The essay has a clear opinion and presents reasons for it, which is a strong point.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well structured, which helps guide the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic growth
job creation
technological advancements
access to global markets
cross-cultural exchange
diversification
increased competition
exploitation
income inequality
cultural assimilation
local businesses
labor markets

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Topic: Some people think that the spread of multinational companies and globalization produces positive outcomes for everyone. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The education you receive from your family is more important than the education you receive from school. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?

Student should pay the full cost for their study because university education benefit individuals rather than society. To what extend do you agree or disagree.