Topic: Some people think that the spread of multinational companies and globalization produces positive outcomes for everyone. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Recently, there has been an ongoing debate about working for multinational enterprises in which the workplace environment is
globalized
Use the right word
globalised
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
contested by many people,
this
Linking Words
issue is still regarded as constructive and positive by a substantial number of individuals. As
such
Linking Words
, there are merits and demerits of the subject, but I am of the opinion that the benefits of the expansion of multinational firms outweigh
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
drawbacks.
To begin
Linking Words
with, the most conspicuous merit of
this
Linking Words
matter is climbing the career ladder higher. Despite the fact that workers have to drastically compete with each other and make great efforts, it is still worth
Correct pronoun usage
it immense
show examples
immense
Replace the word
immensely
show examples
since they can receive high-paying salaries.
Also
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
is a chance for these employees to prove their working capacity
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
potentially reflects and shapes their career path in a company. A typical point in the case is Google
Fix the agreement mistake
Groups
show examples
Group
Punctuation problem
Group,
show examples
where employees are obliged to constantly come up with creative ideas in order to generate novel
appliances
Check wording
applications
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, they are
instead
Linking Words
subsidized
Use the right word
subsidised
show examples
with plenty of welfare and aid. Another advantageous factor of the matter is interaction with diverse cultures.
This
Linking Words
means that each employee has an opportunity to make friends with international colleagues who come from different areas of the world. In light of multinational enterprises, geographical distance is no longer a barrier to connecting people from various nations. Vietnamese youngsters,
for example
Linking Words
, are likely to build friendships with foreign students without much restraint.
This
Linking Words
is because the government has encouraged universities to welcome Korean, Japanese or Russian students studying in their country.
Hence
Linking Words
, they are able to learn about multicultural lifestyles. In conclusion, multicultural companies and
globalization
Use the right word
globalisation
show examples
do not cause harm to local residents but have positive
impacts
Check wording
apply
show examples
effects,
such
Linking Words
as reasonable payment and enlarging international networks.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and relates clearly to your overall argument.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, as this can strengthen your argument
Task Achievement
Rephrase your conclusion to summarize your main points better and reinforce your opinion more clearly.
Task Achievement
The essay has a clear opinion and presents reasons for it, which is a strong point.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well structured, which helps guide the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • job creation
  • technological advancements
  • access to global markets
  • cross-cultural exchange
  • diversification
  • increased competition
  • exploitation
  • income inequality
  • cultural assimilation
  • local businesses
  • labor markets
What to do next:
Look at other essays: