IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from television as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some individuals assert that eliminating aggressive
sports
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 from
television
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 broadcasts and international sporting
competitions
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 is a highly advisable course of action. I concur with
this
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 viewpoint, primarily
due to
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 two significant reasons which will be elaborated upon in
this
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 essay. The foremost reason supporting a complete ban
of
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on
show examples
 violent
sports
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 on
television
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 stems from their detrimental effects on viewers. Scientific research has established that exposure to aggressive behaviour can adversely impact an individual's mental health, causing emotional distress and undermining mental stability. Given that violent
sports
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 are rife with aggression, these negative consequences are amplified, leading to serious issues for spectators.
Consequently
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, a ban is essential for safeguarding viewers from these potential harms.
Moreover
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, it has been scientifically demonstrated that the content people consume can significantly influence their behaviour.
This
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 implies that exposure to violent media is likely to instigate aggressive tendencies. When
television
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 broadcasts frequently showcase violent
sports
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 in graphic detail, there is a risk that audiences may emulate these behaviours, resulting in a society marked by heightened aggression. Banning violent
sports
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 from international
competitions
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 can
also
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 prove beneficial, as they contradict the ultimate objectives of
such
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 events. These
competitions
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 are organized to foster unity and promote peace among nations through healthy, positive rivalry.
However
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, violent
sports
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 often involve extreme situations where participants aggressively engage in physical altercations.
Such
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 behaviours may trigger misunderstandings, thereby undermining the very unity these events aim to cultivate. In conclusion,
while
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 opinions on whether to ban violent
sports
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 from
television
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 and sporting events may be divided, I believe that a total removal would yield significant benefits. Not only can these
sports
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 jeopardize mental health, but their inclusion in
competitions
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 can
also
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 hinder global unity and cooperation.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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