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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of trips made by children in one country to travel to and from school in 1990 and 2010 using various modes of transport. Summarise theinformation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisonswhere relevant. Travel to and from school by children aged 5-12

The graph below shows the number of trips made by children in one country to travel to and from school in 1990 and 2010 using various modes of transport. Summarise theinformation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisonswhere relevant. Travel to and from school by children aged 5-12
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The given column graph illustrates the number of
trips
Use synonyms
 made by children in two separate years, which are 1990 and 2010 in a particular country. The vertical axis represents the number of
trips
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
per
show examples
million
Use synonyms
 per year and the horizontal stands for the different modes of transport like
bus
Use synonyms
,
car
Use synonyms
, walking, bicycle
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
bus
Use synonyms
 and walking together. In 1990, the
trips
Use synonyms
 made by
bus
Use synonyms
 were dramatically higher than by other modes. About 12
million
Use synonyms
trips
Use synonyms
 were made by
bus
Use synonyms
, which was two times more than those made by walking and cycling each, and three times more than those made by
car
Use synonyms
. About 7
million
Use synonyms
trips
Use synonyms
 were made by
bus
Use synonyms
 and walking together. Two decades later, in 2010,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
Use synonyms
trips
Use synonyms
 superseded all other modes and became approximately 12.5
million
Use synonyms
, an increase of 8.5
million
Use synonyms
 from the figures of 1990. The
bus
Use synonyms
trips
Use synonyms
 decreased to half and became 6
million
Use synonyms
.
Trips
Use synonyms
 made by
bus
Use synonyms
 and walking together
also
Linking Words
 decreased by 1
million
Use synonyms
 from the figures of 1990.
Trips
Use synonyms
 made on foot
also
Linking Words
 decreased from 6 to 3
million
Use synonyms
 and those made by cycling reduced to 2
million
Use synonyms
. On the whole, the column graph shows that
Use synonyms
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
show examples
 was the most popular form of transport to go to and from school for children in 1990.
However
Linking Words
, in 2010, the
car
Use synonyms
 became the most popular mode.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words trips, million, bus, car with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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