IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some claim that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#men #women
Nowadays there is an argument between
men
 and
women
, some people claim that
men
 are more competitive as they have strong power and mental stability.
Moreover
, all over the world
men
 are considered more high-powered than
women
.
Furthermore
, I totally contradict
this
 statement, since
both
 genders have abilities and should be treated equally. To start with, it is believed by people that, males have the capability to control themselves over emotions and become the first choices in workplaces.
In addition
, it is claimed that
men
 can overcome hard tasks that's why, long ago the majority of slaves were
men
. It seems sense that
men
 are favoured over
women
 in many professions for these reasons.
However
, the gap between
both
 genders has greatly reduced in the modern era.
Men
 and
women
 perform equal roles in every occupation. To illustrate, numerous businesses today are led by female CEOs, and
women
also
 have some of the highest positions and stature in politics.
Although
 being told that
women
 are naturally kind in all ways, modern society has moved past
this
 idea. In order to demonstrate that
women
 are just as competitive as
men
 in our society of gender equality, many
women
 have taken part in competitions that test
both
 their physical and mental capabilities.
To sum up
, I believe that
both
men
 and
women
 are capable of performing any task.
However
, some situations are better left to males because they are stronger and smarter than
women
.
Submitted by shams.aliyeva on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: