IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

As housing is a basic need for people, the government should provide free housing for everyone who cannot afford it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government
Poverty is becoming a major issue all over the globe.
However
, accommodation is a basic necessity of the masses. I do not agree with that notion because governments should give free
houses
 to needy
people
 as it would be a practical solution for the homeless.
That is
 not deniable that there are a plethora of reasons why governments help poor
people
. To explain it more, in many countries, governments introduce a housing sahay yojna by which needy
people
 meet their requirements.
For example
, the
Government
 of India made 20,000 apartments every year for those who cannot afford
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
due to
 which, needy
people
 can buy them easily and live a peaceful life.
On the other hand
, If a
government
 started providing
houses
 to all individuals, it would
be affected
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
 the economy. It is not possible to make millions of
houses
 at the expense of the
government
.
Government
 has too many other works for a nation
such
 as providing equipment for defence, giving workers salaries, and many others. They
also
 have to give that money to health care, and basic education and maintain other infrastructure of the country by which
people
 can be educated
ad
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 not rely on anyone.
Moreover
, in every country,
people
 choose to free things rather than work harder. To explain it, If authorities provide a free home scheme, the masses stop working hard tempted to meet House.
For instance
, BBC News revealed that 20% of Americans do not want to do the job because they get two-time meals from the
government
.
Hence
, the unemployment rate
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 increased compared with the past in the USA. In conclusion,
although
 the home scheme is beneficial with several terms
such
 as low-budget
houses
, it is not possible for millions of citizens in the country.
Submitted by arshpreetmalkana on

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task response
Task Response: The response does not fully address the task. It agrees with the notion of providing free housing to needy people but fails to consider counterarguments or present a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is disrupted by the lack of clear, well-supported main points. Additionally, the essay lacks the use of cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social safety net
  • Economic stability
  • Unemployment benefits
  • Financial security
  • Economic downturn
  • Poverty
  • Stimulate the economy
  • Job seeking
  • Dependency culture
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Government expenditure
  • Labor market
  • Fraud
  • Welfare abuse
  • Quality of life
  • Budget constraints
  • Economic strain
  • Public funds
  • Employment incentives
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