IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that certain old buidings are more worth preseving than the other ones. Which types of old buidings should be preserved? Do you think that the advantages of preseving these old buildings outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #buidings #ones #buildings
It is claimed that
people
 think that old
buildings
 are worth preserving more than others .
While
 there are some existing drawbacks , I believe that
this
 decision
more
Add a missing verb
has more
show examples
potenticial
Correct your spelling
potential
benefits. On the one hand , It is
recognizable
Replace the word
recognized
show examples
 that a significant number of negative impacts could
seen
Change the verb form
be seen
see
show examples
. If the old houses are still used in a densely populated place, it can affect the lives of
people
 .The biggest damage is caused by fire. Because current temperatures are rising and power outages occur frequently, some old houses are short-circuited, leading to fires. Another
unbenificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
unbeneficial
 effect would be that some of the preserved old
buildings
 are now degraded and the cost to protect these old
buildings
 is very high, many
buildings
 that are not in the ancient ruins are still not maintained. Reconstruction permits jeopardize the safety and beauty of the city.
On the other hand
 , I would agree that there are more advantageous impacts on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
societies.
Firstly
, a number of historic
buildings
 were protected and renovated to become a place of learning and sightseeing for students and visitors.
For example
, Thanh Co Loa is one of the important historical sites of Vietnam that has been restored to become a famous relic for tourists.
Second,
there is an old building located in the old town
that is
 currently being used and known worldwide as a famous tourist and check-in destination.
That is
 creating many jobs and
bringing
Wrong verb form
brings
show examples
 income for
people
. In conclusion, the
buildings
 are too old, so they should be renovated to avoid endangering
people
 around . There
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
ara
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
 more likely to have significant positive effects than
Correct your spelling
negative
relative
regative
Correct your spelling
negative
 ones
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: