IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Write about following topic: In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#topic #countries #amount #crime
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It is
ture
Correct your spelling
true
 that in many countries, the frequency of
crime
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 has been
increeased
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increased
during
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in
show examples
 recent years. There are
variety
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a variety
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 of possible reasons for
this
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, but steps can definitely be taken to tackle the problem. In my opinion,
inside
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among
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 of many kinds of
the
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apply
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increasing crimes, crimes from
youth
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 people are
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a significantly
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significantly
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significant
show examples
 part of that. There are some reasons
may
Correct pronoun usage
that may
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caused
Wrong verb form
cause
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youth
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crime
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. one of the reasons is that some
parents
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 tend to be too lenient
for
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with
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 their
children
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. Since they do not have much spare time to regulate their
children
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, they just allow their
children
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do
Fix the infinitive
to do
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 whatever they want,
such
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 as
watch
Replace the word
watching
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movie
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 which contains violence.
As a result
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, their
children
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 will tend to imitate the same behaviour as the
movie
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.
This
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 will
terriblely
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terribly
 affect
children
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's mindset
,
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apply
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 and may cause
children
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become
Fix the infinitive
to become
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 more violent and even lead to future
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crime
Replace the word
criminal
show examples
 behaviours. The
youth
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 behaviour can certainly be improved. I believe that the change must start with their
parents
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, who need to take much more spare time to accompany their
children
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 and
also
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 design
sutiable
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suitable
 rules for them.
This
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 is because,
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
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 to
children
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,
parents
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 are more mature and they have the ability to
distingrish
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distinguish
 which
movie
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 or game is good for their
children
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's mental health,
such
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 as some movies on history or science. If their
children
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 watched
those kind
Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
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 of
meanful
Correct your spelling
mean
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movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
, they will learn lots of
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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as well as
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 obtain much joy from that experience.
Moreover
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, to prevent
children
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 imitate some people with moral problems,
parents
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 can try to be
a
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apply
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role
model
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models
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 to their
children
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, by showing their
children
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 how to be a person with great personalities like friendly and
politely
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polite
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.
As a result
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, their
children
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 will follow the same kind of
characterics
Correct your spelling
characteristics
like
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as
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 their
parents
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. In conclusion, the
crime
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 rate
of
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in
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 most countries may continue
incraseing
Correct your spelling
increasing
, unless some
youth
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parents
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 start to take their time to better regulate and educate their
children
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.
Submitted by liyanbo1995 on

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