Some people believe that humans should be able to use animals for their own benefit, while others argue that the rights of animals should be protected. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #humans #animals #benefit #rights

A bunch of people think that nobody has the right to kill creatures

whereas

, others opine that they can use them for their own benefit. I go with the latter view which I discuss in forthcoming paragraphs. Well, everyone has a right to freedom so, it is obvious that they can move freely anywhere.

Therefore

, people don't need to interfere in their privacy because

god

gives life to all living beings. If anyone kills the

animals

he will go against the

god

and law of nature.

For example

, most holy books show that

god

gives different

power

Fix the agreement mistake

powers

show examples

strength

Fix the agreement mistake

strengths

show examples

and senses to feel and live on the earth

according to

this

, all are equal even if they are

animals

and humans so, they can live together in all situations.

However

, humans are the best creation of

god

, they have brains to think if he can do anything so, it's not wrong he can use

animals

to do his work .

Moreover

, some

species

are survived

Wrong verb form

survive

show examples

by killing and eating other

animals

then

Rephrase

show examples

man cannot do

this

thing in his life.

For instance

, on a planet every

species

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

dependent on other

species

to make a food chain

otherwise

,some

animals

become large in quantity

instead

of others.

As a result

,It

makes

Verb problem

causes

show examples

big disturbances in the food chain. In conclusion,

although

all

animals

have the right to live without any disturbance, it is important to make a balance in nature so,

Correct word choice

that if

show examples

people like to kill some

species

that's not wrong whether they eat or do work from them.

Submitted by grewalpt1249 on Thu Jun 08 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay fully addresses both views and provides a clear opinion. Develop the arguments in a more balanced and structured manner.

coherence and cohesion

Work on structuring the essay with clear paragraphs and logical progression of ideas. Use appropriate linking devices to improve coherence and cohesion.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Other say it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views.

Deforestation is one of the major issues which need to be tackled. Explore the causes and consequences of deforestation. What strategies, according to you, can be used to promote sustainable forestry and reforestation?

People always believe that we could be a better person by using positive mindset. To what extend do you agree?

Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat balanced diet. What are the reasons behind this? Suggest possible solutions to control this.