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Writing Samples
Band 4

In some cultures children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantage on this advantage of giving children? This is a message.

#cultures #children #advantage #message
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Get right to tell
children
 they can achieve
anthing
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anything
 by trying hard? hame cultures,
children
 are often told that they can achieve
anihing
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anything
 if they try hard
enouch
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enough
.
aning
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and
this
 message to them can produce several effects on each child
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From eate
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eate
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a
 social point of view, telling
this
 to
children
 is very important because we are motivating the hid not to give up. We are making him
to
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apply
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try hard, to make an effort, to read between
lines
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the lines
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 and
the
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at the
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 end of that long path
achieve
Fix the infinitive
to achieve
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 their objectives. Telling that they can achieve
amphing
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amazing
 if they my hard enough, we are saying
in other words
 that things are not so simple or easy but they are not
imposible
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impossible
, is all about working hard and doing our best. sometimes
this
 is not
helpfull
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helpful
 because we
not
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do not
did not
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 always achieve our dreams or goals but it does not
man
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mean
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 we did not try hard, it was just because another person deserve it more than
us
Correct pronoun usage
we
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. So,
although
 w. try hard, there are other factors playing a role in our path.
In
Change preposition
From
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the
Correct article usage
an
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 economic point of view, if our objectives demand a lot of money, we are again in the same
station
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situation
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,
although
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and although
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 we work hard, it would be difficult to achieve it
To sum up
, we are teaching
to
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apply
show examples
children
 how life works, it demands hard work, effort, dedication, lime doing things we don't like, studying and attitude. And
at
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in
show examples
 the end, if you have done all these things but you still did not achieve your goal, you will be happy anyway because you did your best.
Submitted by Zozororo923 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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