The line graph given illustrates the number of people who travel to work by three separate means of transport in the UK from 1970 to 2030.

#line #people #travel #work #three #transport #uk

The given line graph represents the total

oil

used in four different areas, namely the US,

China

, Western

Europe

Japan

and

Middle

Correct article usage

the Middle

show examples

East over a 22-year period, starting from 2009.

Overall

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

oil

consumption

in the US, Western

Europe

and

Japan

witness a downward trend,

while

the opposite is true for

China

and the

Middle

East.

Additionally

, US

oil

consumption

is by far

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

widely-consumed

Correct your spelling

widely consumed

show examples

over the period shown.

To begin

with, the US

oil

consumption

ranked highest with nearly 9

million

, followed by Western

Europe

Japan

with 4

million

and

China

Middle

East with exactly 2

million

in the first examined year. Following that,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

that of Western

Europe

Japan

fall dramatically by 2

million

in 2025.

Conversely

, the figure for the

Middle

East and

China

rise steadily from 2 to 2,5 and 4

million

, respectively.

While

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

there is a fluctuation in the US area. Turning next to the total

consumption

in the US is below 10

million

over a 16-year period

then

it is forecasted that it will go down

under

Change preposition

to under

show examples

million

in 2030. Having a similar trend, albeit less pronounced, the figure for

China

and Western

Europe

Japan

witness a small drop of 0,5

million

In contrast

, the total

oil

consumption

Middle

Correct article usage

the Middle

show examples

East area

surpass

Correct subject-verb agreement

surpasses

show examples

Western

Europe

Japan

at 2,5

million

then

rise

Change the verb form

rises

show examples

continuously to around 3

million

during the same time frame.

Submitted by luudang97 on Thu Jun 08 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words oil, china, europe, japan, middle, consumption, million with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

234 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The line graph given illustrates the number of people who travel to work by three separate means of transport in the UK from 1970 to 2030.

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue their behavior both on and off the field has a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many people today are worried about the large quantities of waste produced by ordinary households. What problems are caused by household waste, and what solutions may be possible in both the short and the long term?

Friendships that take place online are meaningful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extend do you agree or disagree?