Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#workers #doctors #nurses #teachers #contribution #society #sports #entertainment #personalities

The professional

Correct article usage

Professional

show examples

workers

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can create

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

great

value

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

. Like

doctor

Fix the agreement mistake

doctors

show examples

, nurses and teachers

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are high

salaries

Replace the word

salaried

show examples

people in most countries. But compared with the

sports

and

entertainment

personalities’s

Remove the s

personalities’

show examples

salaries

that

Change the verb form

are

show examples

too low. Even though, we can’t ignore the

sports

and

entertainment

personalities

create

value

. But I agree

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

professional

Fix the agreement mistake

professionals

show examples

should be paid more than

sports

and

entertainment

personalities

. Doctors and Nurses create

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

great

society

Replace the word

social

show examples

value

in all of

the

Change the word

their

show examples

professional

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

. In

past

Correct article usage

the past

show examples

three years, we lived in the covid 19 pandemic time. In fact, in the three years,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

all of the

sports

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

had been

stop

Change the verb form

stopping

stopped

show examples

except

Fifa

Correct article usage

the Fifa

show examples

world cup and Olympic Games. So these

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

player didn’t any contribution in the three years. But

Doctors

Correct article usage

the Doctors

show examples

and nurses who saved our

life

stayed in the hospital

Change preposition

for a

show examples

month

can

Correct word choice

and can

show examples

not back

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

home.

For example

, a

doctor

Change noun form

doctor's

show examples

mother,

she

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

work at

first

Add an article

the first

show examples

line of the covid 19 hospital. But

Change preposition

in a

show examples

Change the article

show examples

accident, she got covid 19 and it

taken

Add the auxiliary verb

took

has taken

show examples

her

life

. Her daughter could not say goodbye

Change preposition

show examples

her mother

Change preposition

show examples

that time. In my

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

views

Add a comma

,views

show examples

these professional

worker

Change the determiner

workers

show examples

are greatest in the

society

. They should get more

salaries

for their

society

Replace the word

social

show examples

value

. Most of the time

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

player or other

entertainment

personalities

can bring

Remove the article

apply

show examples

happiness

for

Change preposition

show examples

our

life

. We should admit their

value

and contribution. In

fact

Add a comma

,fact

show examples

most

sports

and

entertainment

personalities

will donate money for county people to build

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

or change their

life

environment. But I don’t think that should be a

reasonable

Replace the word

reason

show examples

for their high

salaries

. And their

educate

Replace the word

education

show examples

levels

Change the noun form

level

show examples

knowledge

Change preposition

of knowledge

show examples

and their create

value

can not support their high

salaries

Therefore

, we should adjust the

sports

and

entertainment

personalities’s

Remove the s

personalities’

show examples

salaries

, and increase the professional

workers

Change to a genitive case

worker's

workers'

show examples

bonus and

salaries

Submitted by crystal1989.liu on Thu Jun 08 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
49Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this? How could more people be encouraged to come into the teaching profession?

"Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up." To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that a country will benefit greatly by a high percentage of young people going to universities. Others argue that it only leads to a higher unemployment rate. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.