IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#workers #doctors #nurses #teachers #contribution #society #sports #entertainment #personalities
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The professional
Correct article usage
Professional
show examples
 workers
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can create
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great
value
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
. Like
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
, nurses and teachers
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are high
Use synonyms
salaries
Replace the word
salaried
show examples
 people in most countries. But compared with the
sports
Use synonyms
 and
entertainment
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
personalities’s
Remove the s
personalities’
show examples
salaries
Use synonyms
that
Linking Words
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 too low. Even though, we can’t ignore the
sports
Use synonyms
 and
entertainment
Use synonyms
personalities
Use synonyms
 create
value
Use synonyms
. But I agree
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
 should be paid more than
sports
Use synonyms
 and
entertainment
Use synonyms
personalities
Use synonyms
. Doctors and Nurses create
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great
Use synonyms
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
value
Use synonyms
 in all of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 professional
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. In
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 three years, we lived in the covid 19 pandemic time. In fact, in the three years,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all of the
sports
Use synonyms
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
 had been
stop
Change the verb form
stopping
stopped
show examples
 except
Fifa
Correct article usage
the Fifa
show examples
 world cup and Olympic Games. So these
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 player didn’t any contribution in the three years. But
Doctors
Correct article usage
the Doctors
show examples
 and nurses who saved our
life
Use synonyms
 stayed in the hospital
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
month
can
Correct word choice
and can
show examples
 not back
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
home.
For example
Linking Words
, a
doctor
Change noun form
doctor's
show examples
 mother,
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
work at
first
Add an article
the first
show examples
 line of the covid 19 hospital. But
Change preposition
in a
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 accident, she got covid 19 and it
taken
Add the auxiliary verb
took
has taken
show examples
 her
life
Use synonyms
. Her daughter could not say goodbye
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 her mother
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 that time. In my
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
views
Add a comma
,views
show examples
 these professional
worker
Change the determiner
workers
show examples
 are greatest in the
society
Use synonyms
. They should get more
salaries
Use synonyms
 for their
Use synonyms
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
value
Use synonyms
. Most of the time
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 player or other
entertainment
Use synonyms
personalities
Use synonyms
 can bring
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
happiness
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our
life
Use synonyms
. We should admit their
value
Use synonyms
 and contribution. In
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
 most
sports
Use synonyms
 and
entertainment
Use synonyms
personalities
Use synonyms
 will donate money for county people to build
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 or change their
life
Use synonyms
 environment. But I don’t think that should be a
reasonable
Replace the word
reason
show examples
 for their high
salaries
Use synonyms
. And their
educate
Replace the word
education
show examples
levels
Change the noun form
level
show examples
knowledge
Change preposition
of knowledge
show examples
 and their create
value
Use synonyms
 can not support their high
salaries
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we should adjust the
sports
Use synonyms
 and
entertainment
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
personalities’s
Remove the s
personalities’
show examples
salaries
Use synonyms
 , and increase the professional
workers
Change to a genitive case
worker's
workers'
show examples
 bonus and
salaries
Use synonyms
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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