IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that governments should pay for healthcare and education, but others disagree with this opinion Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #healthcare #education
The role of
governments
 in society should help
people
 to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems, like
healthcare
 and
education
 which
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
people
 can not to
paid
Change the form of the verb
pay
show examples
these fee
Change the determiner
this fee
these fees
show examples
 by themselves in some areas. So I
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
this
 advice that
governments
to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
pay for
healthcare
 and
education
 for
people
.
Firstly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthcare
 and
education
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 basic protections when they lived in the world. most
people
 can pay it for themselves from work that
people
 paying
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
taxes to
governments
 at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 time. And the taxes would be used
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 build and rapid the city and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
also
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
pay back
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
healthcare
 and
education
. So honestly, the
governments
 should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
pay from gov economic funds. And these
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
people
’s access for enjoyed
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthcare
 and
education
 from the
governments
 when they live in the country.
Secondly
, a good policy for
healthcare
 and
education
 was shown the country’s power and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
development.
For example
like
Change preposition
in
show examples
north
Replace the word
northern
show examples
 Europe countries, their citizens did not
to
Add a missing verb
have to
show examples
 pay anything when they go to the hospital or got
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
education
 from child to adult. So from these
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
people
 about their happiness scores were very high for their government policy. And another example from China,
why
Add a missing verb
is why
show examples
 there have none of the
people
 never get
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
education
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
today, the government cancelled some
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 from
education
 for the village students. So the large
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
population country solve the
education
 problem for all of the citizens. So that was why I agree
governments
 should solve
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
healthcare
 and
education
 problems to pay
these fee
Change the determiner
this fee
these fees
show examples
 for all of the
people
.
Submitted by crystal1989.liu on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal healthcare
  • public education
  • taxpayer burden
  • financial stress
  • equal opportunity
  • workforce development
  • public health
  • literacy rates
  • tax revenue
  • government expenditure
  • inefficiency
  • long waiting times
  • accessibility
  • quality of education
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