IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #university #study #lack #workers #electricians #plumbers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
University
Use synonyms
 education has become an important pathway for many
people
Use synonyms
 to
gain
Use synonyms
real
Add a hyphen
real-world
show examples
world
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
 and to enter into the job market.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 may argue that more
people
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged in vocational training
such
Linking Words
 as electricians and plumbers
instead
Linking Words
 of attending
university
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the shortage of skilled workforce in those areas. In my opinion, there are pros and cons to both these notions. Academic study and
experience
Use synonyms
 gained from a
university
Use synonyms
 education can indeed shape a person to suit the
world
Use synonyms
 of work and to enter the highly competitive job market. There are so many opportunities for a person with a
degree
Use synonyms
 compared to a person with just training. But, that being said, practical knowledge is
also
Linking Words
 highly important in every profession. As a solution to
this
Linking Words
, a lot of universities have incorporated practical
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
 of their academics by sending
students
Use synonyms
 to 'placements' to
gain
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
 and to see how
real
Add an article
the real
show examples
world
Use synonyms
 works.
This
Linking Words
 practical aspect of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academics can be seen in every
degree
Use synonyms
 at present. Nursing
students
Use synonyms
 go to hospitals to complete practical hours and to
gain
Use synonyms
real
Add a hyphen
real-world
show examples
world
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
, engineering
students
Use synonyms
 go to
relavent
Correct your spelling
relevant
 companies to
gain
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc. So that provides
students
Use synonyms
 with
academics
Correct article usage
the academics
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 vocational training they need when graduating.
However
Linking Words
, I agree with the notion that there is a lack of qualified workforce in areas
such
Linking Words
 as electricians and plumbers which has caused a very high demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 these professions.
While
Linking Words
 a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 struggle to enter a
university
Use synonyms
, a very few
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 aim to go to a tertiary education institute that provides vocational training across areas
such
Linking Words
 as electricians, plumbers, and mechanics. I believe
that is
Linking Words
 mainly
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of understanding about these professions and a majority of
people
Use synonyms
 preferring a
university
Use synonyms
degree
Use synonyms
 over a diploma or just vocational training. What
people
Use synonyms
 don't understand is that these professions are very demanding, especially in Australia, and that they can earn over 100 dollars an hour with that.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
to conclude
Linking Words
 my argument, I believe more
people
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged to do vocational training and that it is important as
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as a
university
Use synonyms
degree
Use synonyms
. I think social media, advertising, and media could work to inspire more
people
Use synonyms
 to enrol for vocational training.
Submitted by sandaminiv99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • skilled workers
  • vocational training
  • academic study
  • qualified
  • electricians
  • plumbers
  • technicians
  • hands-on experience
  • job market
  • infrastructure
  • economy
  • unemployment rates
  • consumer spending
  • educational paths
  • job satisfaction
  • societal resilience
  • versatile workforce
What to do next:
Look at other essays: