IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The three pie chart below show the total school spending in UK in three periods.

The three pie chart below show the total school spending in UK in three periods.
#three #show #school #uk #periods
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The charts offer us
on
Change preposition
apply
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what educational
centers
Change the spelling
centres
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spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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money
Use synonyms
 in the UK during three different years. On the one hand, we can see that a major part of the
money
Use synonyms
 is used for the
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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 of the teachers and workers in the 3 years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a minor part of the budget was spent on insurance,
although
Linking Words
 it increased from 1981 to 2001 and on furniture, equipment and resources.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in 1981, 40% of the school’s budget went to the teachers’ salaries. It increased 10% in 1991, reached half of the
money
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it fell again in 2001 to 45%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
money
Use synonyms
 spent
in
Change preposition
on
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 other workers' salaries decreased since 1981 from 28% to 22% in 1991 and fell by 13% in 2001.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the proportion of spending on insurance was 2% in 1981. Even though it reached 8% in 2001, it is a very small part of the budget.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the percentage spent on furniture and equipment decreased from 15% to 5% in 1991 and increased again reaching 23% in 2001.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the percentage
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 resources, increased from 1981 to 1991
of
Change preposition
by
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 5% and fell again in 2001 to 9%.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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