The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is undoubtedly true
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
social media have replaced the traditional ways of communication.
While
I accept that there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
disadvantages of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, I believe it is more likely to have a constructive approach
due to
certain reasons. To commence with, social media have numerous merits that are positively impacted
people
’s life. The main factor is to consider that technological advancement breaks down
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
geographical barriers. To illustrate, communication
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been improved with the help of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
and other media apps
such
as Facebook, and
snapchat
Change the capitalization
Snapchat
show examples
. Another key consideration is that
people
can talk from The various parts of the world.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
study of American students
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
shown that only 25% of youngsters are using
this
feature,
consequently
Add a comma
,consequently
show examples
the use of landlines
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
reduced over the period.
However
, certain
people
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society argue that
this
phenomenon is worsening the situation
instead
of improving it.
Firstly
,
people
are being
over dependent
Add a hyphen
over-dependent
show examples
upon these technologies.
This
is
due to
the fact that
people
like to talk on call, and avoiding face to face communication.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
some
people
are suffering from mental illnesses
such
as depression, anxiety and bipolar. Apart from it,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
privacy is at high risk as they are sharing their
achievement
Fix the agreement mistake
achievements
show examples
and thoughts very often.
Therefore
,
people
are being bullied, and stacked by online strangers. To exemplify
this
, one of the
girl
Change to a plural noun
girls
show examples
was killed by a man who was following her on every social platform. In conclusion, I claim that the potential benefits of
this
statement are more significant than the possible dangers,
thus
it is
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
phenomenon.
Submitted by Navneet Dhand on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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