Some people think that the government should provide assistance to all kinds of artists, while some others think it is a waste of money. Agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There are controversial perspectives heating a debate over

Remove the article

apply

show examples

investment in

artists

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

some claim that it is essential for the governors to give all types of

artists

Use synonyms

support, the opposite makes a statement that it is a financial loss.

While

Linking Words

the former is valid to some extent, I still regard myself as an advocate of the latter. Without a shadow of a doubt, it is persuasive to note that the government should not come to all categories of

artists

Use synonyms

’ assistance, except for traditional ones. These days, people, especially the young, have a tendency to listen to trending music

such

Linking Words

as Pop, Rap and Indie.

Therefore

Linking Words

, old melodies no longer appeal to

people’

Change noun form

people’s

show examples

tastes and gradually disappear in the music marketplace.

This

Linking Words

results in a considerable decrease

Change preposition

show examples

the number of people following a path to

this

Linking Words

unpopular art form. For these reasons, the state needs to take

actions

Fix the agreement mistake

action

show examples

to preserve

the

Change the word

its

show examples

cultural identity.

For instance

Linking Words

, cai luong singers are supported financially by the authorities and have the great ability to perform in certain events.

Hence

Linking Words

, it is crucial for the government to assist the

artists

Use synonyms

, but not all kinds of them.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, I still oppose the view that the financial contribution of the governors for

artists

Use synonyms

is down the drain. All

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

countries, especially under-developed nations, need to prioritize common concerns including education,

medical

Replace the word

medicine

show examples

and other aspects of life. To illustrate, children residing in remote areas have to live in destitute and illiteracy conditions, the government,

consequently

Linking Words

, had

better put

Add a hyphen

better-put

show examples

money into

this

Linking Words

issue. Conspicuously,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

state funding is more significant for the life sides compared to the

artists

Use synonyms

Thus

Linking Words

, it is wasteful of money providing that the authorities assist all classifications of

artistes

Correct your spelling

artists

show examples

. In conclusion, it is understandable why some may argue that all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

artists

Use synonyms

should be supported by the governors.

However

Linking Words

, I cannot agree with

such

Linking Words

a view given the aforementioned reasons.

hominhtrang995Thu Jun 08 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
There may be divergent views regarding whether employees should have more off days. While some people think it is beneficial to work for five days on weekly basis, I am convinced by the view that a longer weekend is advantageous to both workers and companies.
7
band
Some Industry leaders belive that children should learn computer programming in primary school.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.
Acquiring the skill to program electronic devices plays a crucial part in the further development of industries so as a result many employers suggest that the young should be obligated to learn this in elementary school. The writer of this essay supports that statement because computers aid the cognitive development of children and grant them useful skills for their future careers.
7.5
band
Nowadays, many people prefer to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reason for this? Do you think it is a positve or negative development?
Despite the improvement of awareness among the public in modern days, more and more dwellers would rather purchase well-known styles of clothes, vehicles, and other goods than buy cheaper things. This writer assumes that this derives from the societal perspectives and the influence of globalization, leading to an adverse impact on the individuals’ financial burden.
6.5
band
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.
Many people believe that some individuals are born with special talents, such as in sports or music, while others are not. However, there is also an opinion that any child can be taught to become a good sportsperson or musician. In my opinion, some people may have inborn talents, but that does not mean others can't achieve success through effort.
6.5
band
Some teachers tend to reward students with high academic results. Others, however, support and reward students that improved their grades. Discuss both view and vive your opinion.
With academic achievement, there are a variety of opinions from many perspectives. Some people believe that the top high-level students should be treated with rewards as they presented an outstanding outcome compared to pupils which can motivate their peers, while other groups of the community assert that peers who receive better grades than before should be greatly valued as this is evidence for having more knowledge about their lives. These viewpoints will be discussed below.

Some people think that the government should provide assistance to all kinds of artists, while some others think it is a waste of money. Agree or disagree?

Your opinion

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Some Industry leaders belive that children should learn computer programming in primary school.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Nowadays, many people prefer to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reason for this? Do you think it is a positve or negative development?

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

Some teachers tend to reward students with high academic results. Others, however, support and reward students that improved their grades. Discuss both view and vive your opinion.