IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#countries #service #men #school #idea #system #women
In many ,countries men have to do military
service
 for one or two years after finishing school. Some
people
 think
this
 should be compulsory for all countries and both sexes. Personally, I think it should not be compulsory but optional and in
this
 ,essay I will discuss some of the reasons I figure to support my opinion. One argument in favour of
universal
Correct article usage
a universal
show examples
 military is the ability to teach discipline-improving skills like teamwork and society fitting.
People
 in favour
also
 argue that it would help stop young
people
 from doing crimes which is a growing problem in our societies nowadays. Regarding women, as they claim equality rights, it would be a good starting point.
However
, from my point of view, the female gender is more likely to conceive than to kill or fight.
On the other hand
,
this
 compulsory system could lead to more violence and not all countries need to have so many
people
 in the army.
Nevertheless
, being prepared for the unknown is always a good idea.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 the maintenance cost of training
such
 a large number of
people
 would be huge. These days, there are alternatives to military
service
 for youngsters
such
 as community
service
 programs after school hours, where their skills could be developed. In conclusion,
while
 military
service
 has its benefits, there are
also
 negative aspects to consider.
In addition
, no peace was ever cultivated by preparing men for war. For
this
 ,reason I believe there are other ways of improving
people
’s skills and good behavior.
Submitted by acarina.simoes on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Compulsory
  • Military service
  • Conscription
  • Patriotism
  • National security
  • Social equality
  • Discipline
  • Physical fitness
  • Life skills
  • Job training
  • Infringement
  • Conscripts
  • Gender equality
  • Mandatory
  • Economy
  • Education system
  • Labor market
  • Civil service
  • Alternative forms
  • Balanced view
What to do next:
Look at other essays: