The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009

#show #electricity #germany #france #sources #renewables #year

The pie chart illustrates the sources from which electricity is generated in

France

and

Germany

in the year 2009.The electric current produced in

Germany

is relatively high by 50 when compared to

France

.The highest contribution is from thermal and nuclear spirit respectively.

Similarly

,effectiveness is high in

Germany

as its production is based on renewable when compared to

France

. Annually 560 billion kWh of power is generated in

Germany

out of which, more than 50 per cent of it is from a conventional thermal plant.

While

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apply

show examples

one-quarter of the generated power is from the nuclear station. And the rest is from transferred energy , where three a fourth of the voltage is transformed from biomass and wind energy.Hydroelectric makes up to one-fifth of the efficiency of renewable.

Furthermore

, solar strength is

also

being converted to the current.But, none of the geothermal energy is useful. In ,

France

510 billion kWh is produced out of which nearly three quarter is from the nuclear plantation.Only one-tenth is from the thermal root. Renewable sources contribute 13.7 per cent.The most spirit transformed to power is from hydroelectric nearly 80 per cent.

while

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apply

show examples

biomass and wind together make up about one-fifth.

however

,solar accounts for very less.

Submitted by sreya.nimmagadda9 on Thu Jun 08 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words france, germany with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

193 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

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Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

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Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Due to the increasing world demands for oil and gas energy, people need to look for new resources of energy in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages of locating these sources outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, fast food become spart of everyday life. It affects people’s lifestyle and diet as well. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?