Many parents (mostly women) decide to stay home and take care of the family members instead of going out for work. Some people suggest that they should be paid by the government for doing that. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

#parents #women #home #care #members #work #people #government

Some mothers are convinced that staying at home is better for the family,

whereas

others emphasize that work opens new horizons for both parents and

children

. I firmly approbate with the former view. To commence with, in

stay-at-homehome

Correct your spelling

stay-at-home home

mom situation provides various merits.

Firstly

, They have adequate time to enjoy raising their

children

Secondly

, they are more capable to determine any problem in behavioural or academic performance.

For instance

, the mother can distinguish if her child is suffering from distraction or hyperactivity by observing him/her during long day hours,which seems probably hard for a working mom.

In addition

to that,

Correct article usage

show examples

unworking-mother

Correct your spelling

unworking mother

show examples

is more likely to be more comfortable,

therefore

,she will bring her

children

up to be psychologically and mentally healthier.

On the other hand

, obtaining a career has its merits as it leads to gaining monetary stability .So, being influent will supply the members of the family with the prerequisites of high standard education

as well as

health care.

although

securing futuristic learning and occupation is valuable,

children

are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

valuable treasures that we should not only take care of it

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

guide them on the right track.

This

will not happen to be busy outside the home. in a nutshell, working enables high-quality life,Yet staying at home is

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better for the holistic development of

children

Submitted by amalyanoo on Thu Jun 08 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

214 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many parents (mostly women) decide to stay home and take care of the family members instead of going out for work. Some people suggest that they should be paid by the government for doing that. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries celebrities have higher salaries than senior politicans. what is the reason? do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, bcause university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, obesity one of the common issues in some Western countries and mostly children struggle with this health problem