Many parents (mostly women) decide to stay home and take care of the family members instead of going out for work. Some people suggest that they should be paid by the government for doing that. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

#parents #women #home #care #members #work #people #government

Some mothers are convinced that staying at home is better for the family,

whereas

others emphasize that work opens new horizons for both parents and

children

. I firmly approbate with the former view. To commence with, in

stay-at-homehome

Correct your spelling

stay-at-home home

mom situation provides various merits.

Firstly

, They have adequate time to enjoy raising their

children

Secondly

, they are more capable to determine any problem in behavioural or academic performance.

For instance

, the mother can distinguish if her child is suffering from distraction or hyperactivity by observing him/her during long day hours,which seems probably hard for a working mom.

In addition

to that,

Correct article usage

show examples

unworking-mother

Correct your spelling

unworking mother

show examples

is more likely to be more comfortable,

therefore

,she will bring her

children

up to be psychologically and mentally healthier.

On the other hand

, obtaining a career has its merits as it leads to gaining monetary stability .So, being influent will supply the members of the family with the prerequisites of high standard education

as well as

health care.

although

securing futuristic learning and occupation is valuable,

children

are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

valuable treasures that we should not only take care of it

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

guide them on the right track.

This

will not happen to be busy outside the home. in a nutshell, working enables high-quality life,Yet staying at home is

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better for the holistic development of

children

Submitted by amalyanoo on Thu Jun 08 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

214 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
You have rented a house by a lake for the summer. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter •describe the house •describe how you are spending your time there •invite your friend to come and visit Begin your letter as follows: Dear………..
I hope you are doing very well. I am writing to you to participate in the holiday, which I planned for the summer.
4
band
Today food travel thousand of mile from farmers to consumers. Why is it so? It is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays the phenomenon of the food trade is becoming a heated debate in which people can try food from other places of the world which in my view can be a plus which I want to explain throughout this essay.
4.5
band
Millions of dollars are spent on spare research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?
Every year, it can be seen that a large amount of money is spent on space research. A lot of people think that the money should be used to improve the standards of living for residents. In my point of view, I think the government should use the money to discover space.
6.5
band
Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in a group while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
While some people believe that it is more fruitful for students to learn in a group,others would argue that it is superior for them to study alone.Both sides of this argument will be discussed in the essay below before my view on this matter is drawn in the end.
7.5
band
Consumer goods have become the most important of people's lives. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, consumer goods play an important role in people's lives, to make human's daily life easier although,it has many disadvantages. However, in my opinion, the merits of consumer goods will outweigh the demerits. This essay will discuss the pros and cons of using consumer goods on a daily basis.

Many parents (mostly women) decide to stay home and take care of the family members instead of going out for work. Some people suggest that they should be paid by the government for doing that. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You have rented a house by a lake for the summer. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter •describe the house •describe how you are spending your time there •invite your friend to come and visit Begin your letter as follows: Dear………..

Today food travel thousand of mile from farmers to consumers. Why is it so? It is a positive or negative development?

Millions of dollars are spent on spare research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in a group while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Consumer goods have become the most important of people's lives. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?