IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#enquiries #tourist #information #office #city #period #summarise #features #comparisons
This
 line chart illustrates the
number
 of
enquiries
 received over by the tourist information office for three two-month
span
Change to a plural noun
spans
show examples
 in 2011. It is clear from the graph that
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of tourists who received in person, the most ratio increased.
According to
 what is shown,
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of
enquiries
 received by latter, email and telephone decreased relatively.
To begin
 with January, they were close to each other by numbers. After that, witnessed a small dip for both.
Then
, in February amount of
letter
Fix the agreement mistake
letters
show examples
 and
email
Fix the agreement mistake
emails
show examples
 got
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
soar
while
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of
telephone
Fix the agreement mistake
telephones
show examples
 climbed respectively. After a
while
,
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of
enquiries
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
received by letter and email continued
decreased
Change the verb form
to decrease
show examples
 until May.
Then
, it recovered and
Add a missing verb
was consistented
show examples
consistented
Correct your spelling
consistent
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 level.
While
 the ratio of
letter
Fix the agreement mistake
letters
show examples
 decreased, the amount of telephone got a rocket in the numbers. The most striking feature of the graph is,
figures
Correct article usage
the figures
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
enquiries
 received in person, it was the least figure.
Then
, witnessed a soar until March. After that, it got a rocket until became the highest ratio in January.
To sum up
, we could say that the highest
number
 was in January, which contained
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1800
enquiries
 , that
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 for people received in person.
Submitted by abdulilahali2023 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, enquiries with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rocket" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "soar" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: