IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Giving detailed information of crime in newspapers and on television has bad consequences. Some suggest that government should impose some restriction on them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#information #crime #newspapers #television #consequences #suggest #government #restriction
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, criminal
news
Use synonyms
 has been clearly reported to the public on various platforms. It has been suggested by some people that unlimited
presenting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
information about crime should be controlled by the government in order to the prevention of unexpected consequences. In my point of view, I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because it can be affected directly by
victims
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the policemen 's investigation system if there is no broadcast limitation.
This
Linking Words
 essay will describe supportive details of my opinion. The criminal issue is a sensitive problem, which can be occurred to any people in the country. It is widely recognized that the media and communication technology have been greatly modernized,
for instance
Linking Words
, the audiences at home can perceive the murder
news
Use synonyms
 in the way of representing the real events as in a 3D animation story,
in addition
Linking Words
, all components;
such
Linking Words
 as stakeholders, places and important evidence in
this
Linking Words
case
Use synonyms
 shown in the reporting. In the meantime, the
victims
Use synonyms
 or their families who have suffered from
this
Linking Words
case
Use synonyms
 would definitely feel more regretful when they watch it repeatedly.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, policemen still on duty in the
case
Use synonyms
 examination, purposed to seek the convicts.
Thus
Linking Words
, if any media channels expose too many details about the
case
Use synonyms
, it might intervene in the course of the investigation.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
immediately
taken
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 action to regulate the presentation of sensitive
news
Use synonyms
, particularly, crime
news
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the blur graphic options should be conducted compulsively for any persons who have to present on the
news
Use synonyms
 or the real name should be omitted by mentioning the fake name
instead
Linking Words
. These can protect the
victims
Use synonyms
 from society's influence and can support the related official staff to complete their work. In conclusion, even though, there is advanced technology in
news
Use synonyms
 broadcasting.
This
Linking Words
 is beneficial to people receiving the comprehensive details of
news
Use synonyms
,
nonetheless
Linking Words
, the government should constrain the excessive information in order to the avoiding of unexpected consequences for either
victims
Use synonyms
' feelings or policemen 's work.
Submitted by cidj2covid on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt and provides a balanced argument for the agreement or disagreement.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization and connection between ideas to enhance coherence and cohesion. Use linking words and appropriate paragraph structure to improve the flow of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: