IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Giving detailed information of crime in newspapers and on television has bad consequences. Some suggest that government should impose some restriction on them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#information #crime #newspapers #television #consequences #suggest #government #restriction
In recent years, criminal
news
 has been clearly reported to the public on various platforms. It has been suggested by some people that unlimited
presenting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
information about crime should be controlled by the government in order to the prevention of unexpected consequences. In my point of view, I totally agree with
this
 statement because it can be affected directly by
victims
,
while
 the policemen 's investigation system if there is no broadcast limitation.
This
 essay will describe supportive details of my opinion. The criminal issue is a sensitive problem, which can be occurred to any people in the country. It is widely recognized that the media and communication technology have been greatly modernized,
for instance
, the audiences at home can perceive the murder
news
 in the way of representing the real events as in a 3D animation story,
in addition
, all components;
such
 as stakeholders, places and important evidence in
this
case
 shown in the reporting. In the meantime, the
victims
 or their families who have suffered from
this
case
 would definitely feel more regretful when they watch it repeatedly.
Furthermore
, policemen still on duty in the
case
 examination, purposed to seek the convicts.
Thus
, if any media channels expose too many details about the
case
, it might intervene in the course of the investigation.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
immediately
taken
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 action to regulate the presentation of sensitive
news
, particularly, crime
news
.
For instance
, the blur graphic options should be conducted compulsively for any persons who have to present on the
news
 or the real name should be omitted by mentioning the fake name
instead
. These can protect the
victims
 from society's influence and can support the related official staff to complete their work. In conclusion, even though, there is advanced technology in
news
 broadcasting.
This
 is beneficial to people receiving the comprehensive details of
news
,
nonetheless
, the government should constrain the excessive information in order to the avoiding of unexpected consequences for either
victims
' feelings or policemen 's work.
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task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt and provides a balanced argument for the agreement or disagreement.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization and connection between ideas to enhance coherence and cohesion. Use linking words and appropriate paragraph structure to improve the flow of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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