Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

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Many people, and children of different generations enjoy playing computer

games

Use synonyms

While

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I accept that these

games

Use synonyms

can sometimes have a positive effect on the user, I believe that they are more likely to have a harmful impact. On the one hand, video

games

Use synonyms

can be both entertaining and educational. Users, or gamers, are transported into virtual worlds which are often more exciting and engaging than real-life pastimes. From an educational perspective, these

games

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encourage imagination and creativity,

as well as

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concentration, logical thinking and problem-solving, all of which are useful skills outside the gaming context.

Furthermore

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, it has been shown that computer simulation

games

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can improve users’ motor skills and help

Verb problem

apply

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prepare them for real-world tasks,

such

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as flying a plane.

However

Linking Words

, I would argue that these benefits are outweighed by the drawbacks. Gaming can be highly addictive because users are constantly given scores, new targets and frequent rewards to keep them playing. Many children now spend hours each day trying to progress through the levels of a game or to get a higher score than their friends.

This

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type of addiction can have adverse effects ranging from lack of sleep to problems at school when homework is sacrificed for a few more hours on a computer or console. The rise in obesity in recent years has

also

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been linked in part to the sedentary lifestyle and lack of exercise that often

accompany

Correct subject-verb agreement

accompanies

show examples

gaming addiction. All things considered, it seems to me that the potential problems of video

games

Use synonyms

are outweighed

Wrong verb form

outweigh

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the possible benefits.

Submitted by minhnx2 on Fri Jun 09 2023

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Task Response

You have provided a clear response to the essay question, including both the benefits and drawbacks of video games. However, ensure that you fully address the question by making it clear whether you believe the drawbacks outweigh the benefits or vice versa.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a logical structure and presents a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in the cohesion of ideas within paragraphs and the overall organization of the essay.

Lexical Resource

Your lexical resource is good, with a wide range of vocabulary used to discuss the topic. Ensure that your word choice and terminology are appropriate and precise, and aim for more variety in linking words and phrases to improve coherence.

Grammatical Range

The essay demonstrates a good command of grammatical structures and a varied use of sentence types. To improve further, focus on using a wide range of grammatical structures and ensure that your sentences are error-free.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children should continue schooling until 18 years old while others suggest that schooling till 14 years of age is enough. Discuss both views and present your opinion.

Task 2: Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

is learning english more important than local languanges? give your opinion.