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Writing Samples
Band 5

The economic growth in developing and developed countries is making people richer. However, the research indicates that people in the developing countries is happier than people in developed countries. What is your opinion on this ?

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It has been observed that the economic revolution has elevated the level of income of
people
Use synonyms
 in growing and grown territories.
Nevertheless
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, as per the report,
people
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 in developing
nations
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 are more cheerful than
people
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 who live in developed
countries
Use synonyms
. I, in my turn,
also
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 agree with
this
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 notion and in
this
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 ,essay I will discuss my preference with the fact and examples. In
this
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 first paragraph, I will throw some light on why the individuals of developing
nations
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 are mary-making as compared to developed
nations
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.
To begin
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 with, the level of employment has been increased. To elaborate, as far as the nation is developing, it rises new local or multinational businesses to satisfy the needs of
people
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, which in turn a required number of workers and professionals.
As a result
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, it develops a healthy economy by giving more jobs, so
people
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 can make more
money
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 and live a lavish
lifestyles
Correct the article-noun agreement
lifestyle
show examples
instead
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 of just making ends meet.
Moreover
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, the government
also
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 can afford to provide better public
facilities
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.
That is
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, the state can have more
money
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 by having enormous economic growth, so it could be used to develop the latest infrastructure for
people
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,
such
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 as better transportation, education, free healthcare and many more.
Thus
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,
people
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 should not have to worry about all things and can use public
facilities
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 either by paying negligible charges or free of cost, which would again save a good sum in the
people
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’s pockets.
Hence
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, these all factors lead them to live
a happier lives
Correct the article-noun agreement
happier lives
a happier life
show examples
 than they had before.
Furthermore
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,
people
Use synonyms
 would have more recreational activities in the developing
nations
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. To simplify, as the economy boosts, it brings new changes or
facilities
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 to the workplace,
such
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 as automatic machines and digitalization.
As a result
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,
people
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 would have ended up with a job so quickly and spend some spare time for themself to not just perform recreational activities and rejuvenates themself, but
also
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 they would be more health conscious.
Thus
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, after work, a person can stay happy by having the above factors in his life.
On the contrary
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, Some
people
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 believe that
due to
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 some reasons a developed
countries
Use synonyms
people
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 would
Add a missing verb
be
show examples
happier. Mainly, They have been using many of the public
facilities
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 for many decades, and the government of that
countries
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also
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 focus on developing more modern and new infrastructure, so that civilians of that
countries
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 would be able to access more standard and extraordinary lifestyles, which makes them happy. Still, I believe, might
people
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 in developed
countries
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 do not value
money
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 as they already have been getting all things free that they required.
To conclude
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,
although
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 developing
countries
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people
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 live far ahead in every term, they might not be happy as compared to developing ones because in growing
countries
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people
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 using new
facilities
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 and earning more
money
Use synonyms
 gradually they are not used to it,
thus
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, they are deemed to be more satisfied.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • developing countries
  • developed countries
  • wealth
  • happiness
  • basic needs
  • sense of community
  • family ties
  • stress
  • pressure
  • social status
  • materialism
  • consumerism
  • cultural values
  • social relationships
  • lifestyle choices
  • dissatisfaction
  • perpetual pursuit
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