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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below gives attendance figures for Grandville Stadium from 2017, which are projected through 2030 after a major improvement project. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives attendance figures for Grandville Stadium from 2017, which are projected through 2030 after a major improvement project. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#attendance #figures #grandville #stadium #improvement #project #information #features #comparisons
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The graph is presenting information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of attendances who have taken part in three types of
events
Use synonyms
 from years 2017 to 2030 in the Grandville Stadium. An increase in
Use synonyms
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
attendance can be seen in all event types which is considered
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
by looking at the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who have gone to
stadium
Add an article
the stadium
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. The most increase belongs to concert
attendaces
Correct your spelling
attendance
attendances
attendees
, there were about 25'000
people
Use synonyms
 taking part in concerts in 2017
while
Linking Words
 it reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
125'000 in 2030. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 going to
Add an article
the theater
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theater
Change the spelling
theatre
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 does
had
Change the verb form
have
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 a raise and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 become 5 times larger than before. In 2017, the average
number
Use synonyms
 of
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
 watchers was about 10'000
people
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, it is
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
 50'000
people
Use synonyms
 by 2030. Sporting
events
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 had the least change in the
number
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 in comparison to other
events
Use synonyms
 but it contains the largest
number
Use synonyms
 of
attendaces
Correct your spelling
attendees
attendances
 during these years. The
number
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 who have gone for watching a
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 match in 2017 is about 150'000 which has reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
160'000
people
Use synonyms
 by 2030. It
haven't
Change the verb form
hasn't
show examples
 changed significantly but no other
events
Use synonyms
 have got
attendances
Fix the agreement mistake
attendance
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 as much as
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
events
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mediii355 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, events, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • attendance figures
  • projected
  • improvement project
  • major enhancement
  • trend
  • time span
  • analyze
  • decrease
  • stagnation
  • growth
  • critical increase
  • forecast
  • overview
  • comparison
  • anticipated
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