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Band 4

Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned while others believe that people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sport
Nowadays many
of
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apply
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sports
 was developed since the ancient era and people
still
Add a missing verb
are still
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 conservative until
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
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 era which included some number of some
sports
 which risked
to
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apply
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player injury. But in my
idea
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,idea
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 we should contain and conserve these for a
lot
 of benefits that
i
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I
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 will describe
into
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in
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below
Correct article usage
the below
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 essay. It is important to maintain dangerous
sports
such
 as football, boxing and etc. because of many advantages.
Firstly
 most risk spots are the favourite
sports
 for a
lot
 of people around the
world
 that provided amazing feeling and involved that activity to them as they stand at the side of the stadium.
Secondly
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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in terms of culture, a
lot
 of
country
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countries
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 developed unique
sports
 by themself for a long time.
Although
 those included many of
denger
Correct your spelling
danger
sports
such
 as boxing because it can give watcher satisfy
while
 watching them. And currently many
of
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apply
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unique
sports
 that risk
of
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apply
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physical damage to players from a
lot
 of countries
are well know
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are well known
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 and very famous around
a
Correct article usage
the
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world
. Thirthy thing is human like any competition activity and shows everyone
i
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I
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 am strongest in
this
 location. So that
why
Add a missing verb
is why
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 we can not remove risky
sports
 from our
world
 and we will find many
of
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apply
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injured
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 after finishing
sport
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sports
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 competition like that nowadays. In ,conclusion the
world
 in modern has many
sports
 and a
lot
 of them are able to have
a different styles
Correct the article-noun agreement
different styles
a different style
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. And
i
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I
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 strongly agree to maintain all of them because these are evident to prove human have a beautiful culture which
develop
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develops
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for
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over
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 a long time
Correct word choice
and
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presents humanity still have ancient treasure to show everyone and not the same as an animal.
Submitted by kmutnbeng48 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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