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Band 6

The chart below shows the top ten countries with the highest spending on travel in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The chart below shows the top ten countries with the highest spending on travel in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#ten #countries #travel #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The bar graph illustrates how many
billions
Correct your spelling
billion
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 habitants from 10 different countries spend on travelling in 2014.
Overall
, the
fisrt
Correct your spelling
first
 one
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the top 10 that destinated more money on travel that year was China. Going more into detail, Chinese people spend around 110
billion
 dollars in 2014 on travelling
porpuses
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purposes
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,
however
Add a comma
,however
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 the rest of the
Asians
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Asian
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 countries were at the bottom list with an average of 16
billion
 that year. Singapore had an average of 24
billion
dolars
Correct your spelling
dollars
 on travel expenses,
after
this
,
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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Singapore and
Southkorea
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South Korea
 with 20
billion
 and India,
Malasyia
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Malaysia
,
Taiwan
Correct word choice
and Taiwan
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 only spend an average of 15
billion
 in 2014.
On the other hand
,
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 States and Germany destinated the same amount of capital on
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
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, with an
aproximation
Correct your spelling
approximation
 of 86
billion
 each so both of them were
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the second and third position. Right after there is the British population, which
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
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 dedicated around 54
billion
 dollars
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 travelling that same year.
To conclude
, the image lists the ranking of the top 10 countries that dedicated more money
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 travel activities and
it is clear that
 China peaks
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 top of the list.
Submitted by celinedoultremontt on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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