IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that several short holidays from school are better, while others think one long summer holiday for the year is better for children. Discuss both views and include your own opinion and relevant examples from your experience.

#people #holidays #school #summer #holiday #year #children
Children love layoff from school whether it is for a short or longer period.
Therefore
, the academy should give pupils short breaks the number of times
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
thinking some people
while
 others oppose that summer vacations for a lengthy period are ideal. Analysing that I believe one long summer holiday is crucial as it gives the young ones enough duration to travel abroad with their parents. On the one hand, several short holidays could be beneficial for youngsters for the reason that it will help them relieve the stress from studying. As per my experience, I used to enjoy long weekends specifically before exams as it helped me focus more afterwards.
Consequently
, the small breaks in between the semester can release the pressure which will eventually boost the performance of the learners.
Hence
, these free days can make the children more productive in their studies.
On the other hand
, summer vacations are necessary as young ones cannot handle the extreme temperatures considering their age, they might not be able to take care of themselves at
this
 specific time of the year. I used to play outdoors at 40 degree Celsius and my mother was always after me as the weather was dehydrating me.
Moreover
, in the long ,duration children can go out with their families to visit other countries and explore which is not possible if they have short holidays.
Thus
, these periods relieve the students from high heat and they could travel to different places. In conclusion, both types of layoff are beneficial for the learners because in a short time, they will be able to unwind and on vacation, they can travel abroad
as well as
 be protected from the weather conditions. In my opinion, schools should give both types of breaks.
Submitted by ramanpreetkaursetia on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: