IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people say that what individuals protect the environment cannot make a difference. Other people say that every individual should take responsibility for it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #individuals #environment #difference #responsibility
There is a debatable view about who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the best to protect the
environment
. Some
people
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
 that individuals do not have a significant difference
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental protection,
while
 others believe that every person can take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 responsibility. I believe that
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
environmental
care
 should
take
Wrong verb form
be taken
show examples
care
by
Change preposition
of by
show examples
 each individual, but government roles will create a bigger impact.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the one hand, small changes should start
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 each person
where
Rephrase
apply
show examples
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 environmental protection is no exception.
This
 means that there are several ways to
care
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
environment
start
Wrong verb form
starting
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 from each person's home.
For example
, reduce, reuse, and recycle are the best ways to take
care
 of the earth. Those ways are simple acts
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 all
people
 can do by themselves to manage their rubbish and
belonging
Fix the agreement mistake
belongings
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
ones
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 who use public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 are
also
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsible act to
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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air pollution.
On the other hand
, authorities should take
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
action to provide a huge impact to the earth. States should create a strict and clear
rule
 about environmental protection;
this
rule
also
 must
has
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have
show examples
 a consequence for
people
 who
are not obey
Change the verb form
do not obey
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
rule
.
Moreover
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
also
 should raise
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Change noun form
society's
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 awareness about how to protect the
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
 and
impacts
Correct article usage
the impacts
show examples
 of a
destroy
Change the verb form
destroyed
show examples
environment
. There are
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of
people
 who do not understand
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
hazard
Replace the word
hazardous
show examples
 impact of
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 loss, and they
also
 do not have
a knowledge
Remove the article
knowledge
a piece of knowledge
show examples
 about how to
pretect
Correct your spelling
protect
 them.
For instance
, a campaign from the Ministry of
Environment
 is one
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
way to share
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the community.
To sum up
, both individuals and governments should take
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
action to
care
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
environment
.
People
 can start
from manage
Change preposition
by managing
show examples
 their trash and
belonging
Fix the agreement mistake
belongings
show examples
. Meanwhile, authorities create a
rule
 and campaign to raise citizen awareness.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task response
Your essay provides a good response to the task, but make sure to develop a stronger and clearer opinion with more supporting points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows some improvement in coherence and cohesion, but there are areas where the logical structure could be clearer. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly present the main points of your essay, and work on linking your ideas more effectively throughout the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • collective action
  • significant environmental change
  • personal habits
  • conserving water
  • systemic changes
  • industrial pollution
  • deforestation
  • corporate and governmental policies
  • environmentally friendly practices
  • sustainable products
  • policies and regulations
  • global environmental challenges
  • ripple effect
  • broader societal changes
What to do next:
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