IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that what individuals protect the environment cannot make a difference. Other people say that every individual should take responsibility for it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #individuals #environment #difference #responsibility
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There is a debatable view about who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the best to protect the
environment
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. Some
people
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said
Wrong verb form
say
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 that individuals do not have a significant difference
to
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in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental protection,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that every person can take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 responsibility. I believe that
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
environmental
care
Use synonyms
 should
take
Wrong verb form
be taken
show examples
care
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
of by
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 each individual, but government roles will create a bigger impact.
One
Correct your spelling
On
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 the one hand, small changes should start
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 each person
where
Rephrase
apply
show examples
an
Correct your spelling
and
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 environmental protection is no exception.
This
Linking Words
 means that there are several ways to
care
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the
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for the
show examples
environment
Use synonyms
start
Wrong verb form
starting
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 from each person's home.
For example
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, reduce, reuse, and recycle are the best ways to take
care
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 of the earth. Those ways are simple acts
where
Correct word choice
that
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 all
people
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 can do by themselves to manage their rubbish and
belonging
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belongings
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.
Furthermore
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,
ones
Correct pronoun usage
those
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 who use public
transportations
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transportation
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 are
also
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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responsible act to
decrease
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decreasing
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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air pollution.
On the other hand
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, authorities should take
an
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apply
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action to provide a huge impact to the earth. States should create a strict and clear
rule
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 about environmental protection;
this
Linking Words
rule
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also
Linking Words
 must
has
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have
show examples
 a consequence for
people
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 who
are not obey
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do not obey
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
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the
rule
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
also
Linking Words
 should raise
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
Change noun form
society's
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 awareness about how to protect the
surrounding
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surroundings
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 and
impacts
Correct article usage
the impacts
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 of a
destroy
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destroyed
show examples
environment
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. There are
group
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groups
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 of
people
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 who do not understand
a
Correct article usage
the
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hazard
Replace the word
hazardous
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 impact of
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 loss, and they
also
Linking Words
 do not have
a knowledge
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knowledge
a piece of knowledge
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 about how to
pretect
Correct your spelling
protect
 them.
For instance
Linking Words
, a campaign from the Ministry of
Environment
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 is one
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
way to share
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge
to
Change preposition
with
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 the community.
To sum up
Linking Words
, both individuals and governments should take
an
Correct article usage
apply
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action to
care
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the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
environment
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 can start
from manage
Change preposition
by managing
show examples
 their trash and
belonging
Fix the agreement mistake
belongings
show examples
. Meanwhile, authorities create a
rule
Use synonyms
 and campaign to raise citizen awareness.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task response
Your essay provides a good response to the task, but make sure to develop a stronger and clearer opinion with more supporting points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows some improvement in coherence and cohesion, but there are areas where the logical structure could be clearer. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly present the main points of your essay, and work on linking your ideas more effectively throughout the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • collective action
  • significant environmental change
  • personal habits
  • conserving water
  • systemic changes
  • industrial pollution
  • deforestation
  • corporate and governmental policies
  • environmentally friendly practices
  • sustainable products
  • policies and regulations
  • global environmental challenges
  • ripple effect
  • broader societal changes
What to do next:
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